sub specie alternitate

Today I had an encounter with a student that was quite painful for her.

It took me back to my days as a student with Baba and I would say (in my mind) "Baba is so mean," for I would never dare to say something like that outright to his face. Yet Baba knew anyway and he would say things like, "Pelkyong-ma, Baba is never mean. Baba is kind and loving and generous. Baba only tells you the truth that you do not want to hear, let alone acknowledge is true."

It took me 20 years to fully get that if I react to something said it is always because it struck an ego nerve and that is always an invitation to look at myself with rigorous self-honesty.

This sort of encounter is something I should be used to by now. After all, I know it well from both ends.

What happened?

I asked her if she wanted to be special or free, because these are opposites so you cannot be both. That was the statement she thought was cruel and unnecessary.

If we do not begin to see that waking up is about self-emptying and not self-filling, we have not yet even begun our spiritual journey.

What is interesting is that while she believed that I was angry, unnecessarily abrupt and even rude, my heart was dripping with such pity and compassion for her because it is her blind spot.

In Tibetin, the word that is used is shenpa, which means to bite the hook.

Unless we see how we get hooked into taking ourselves and our lives so seriously, we will be unable to see how we are puffing up the ego rather than actually reducing it.

There is a Latin phrase worthy of memorization: sub specie alternitate It means, "In the light of Eternity, what does this matter?" It is so easy for us as human beings to get lost in the things which have no eternal significance. My prayer is simply this: God help me watch for the ego whenever it wants to make itself look good so that it can be seen by others in a favorable light. Help me see every instant as an opportunity for ego reduction. And help me be so tiny as to be invisible. For it is only when I learn how to get out of my own way and be very very small, that you can be very very large in my life and use this instrument for the sake of all life everywhere. Amen