Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: After turning the computer

on today, I discovered that I

had received an email message

from Jeff Foster, whom I love

and respect.

 

If you are new to his name,

he is recognized in the world

as a well known author and

nondual teacher.

​

I refer to him as a teacher, even

though I know he, like I, do not

consider ourselves anything

other than humans humaning,

and the last thing we, or anyone

else for that matter needs is

another label.

​

A label is a dangerously

slippery slope.

​

Because you either have to 

work hard to maintain it, to

remain relevant and popular

in the spiritual marketplace

and by thus lose your way,

or be even more committed

in order to relinquish it.

​

And by committed, I am talking

about the big "S" word,

surrender, for you are the doer

of nothing in this world.

​

Either way, it's a death sentence.

​

Anyone who has experienced

the ultimate truth realizes that

they do this for themselves.

​

It is about a heart so full that

you have to give it expression

or else combust.

​

Thus, it is for no one else.

​

You are your own guide, so

consider your own heart

sacrosanct.

​

Listen to what it shares with you,

for there is no greater source in

the entire universe than that of

your own human heart.

​

If you do not feel the resonance

of something, toss it in the

circular file and be done with

it.

​

But if you feel your heart stir

when you either read or hear it,

embrace it.

​

And most certainly if something

frightens, disturbs or otherwise 

angers you, you might just want

to accept the invitation to look

carefully at what it is sharing 

because it struck a nerve.

​

Aren't your tired of running away

and blasting undeserving bystanders

with your ire?

​

Back to the email...

 

The message began with the

following quote from his most

recent book:

 

If you cannot sit with your own

fear, you will project it and act it

out on the people you love.

 

If you cannot feel your own grief,

you will harden to it.

 

If you cannot meet your own anger,

you will lash out or hide in fear.

 

So you see, meditation is not

ultimately about calm. It is about

deep responsibility.

 

To yourself and to the world...

 

Jeff Foster

 

I absolutely love that!

 

So I guess that the overarching

theme for the week has shifted

to that of loving and supporting

yourself as you remain present

to your inner experience of life.

​

That sounds like I am changing

subjects when it is the bedrock

feeling tonality of everything

that is shared here.

​

There is no other message.

​

For this is the meaning of life stuff

that we all ache to know when we

admit to ourselves that we feel lost,

afraid and alone, white washed

sepulchres with empty bones.

 

This message is thus not about 

where I am supposed to be.

 

Nor is it about how I am supposed

to be.

 

And It is not about following some

prescription which is based on

someone else's experience.

 

It is about how I choose to be

and live my life.

 

It is about being a responsible

human adult.

 

Here is another gem from Jeff Foster:

 

What I discovered slowly and sometimes

painfully, was that my nervous system

did not need "enlightenment." It needed

kindness.

 

Soul: Moving forward, each and every

moment of what remains in your serial

adventure of life, will be about

increasing your capacity to be lovingly

present to all of your inner experience

and to yourself.

​

Take the time to discover who you are

and be your own best friend.

 

The more you are anchored there,

the more authentic your life, for

this is about self-sovereignty and

personal agency.

​

You were not born to be a slave

to your inner experience of life,

nor to regurgitate it onto those

for whom you are supposed to

love and care.

 

me: You know, one of the most

helpful ideas that I have ever

encountered came from the book

Mans Search For Meaning, by

Viktor Frankl.

 

After his time in the concentration

camps and witnessing the deaths of

his family and countless others,

he came to understand that

suffering was like helium.

 

Fill any balloon with helium and it

will take on the shape of the balloon

it has filled.

 

Likewise, no one can compare their

suffering to that of another, or

someone else's suffering to their own.

 

Suffering always takes on the shape

of the container of the experiencer

of that suffering.

 

Thus all suffering is equal for each 

and every one of us.   

 

Soul: Being fully human is the state

of transcendence!

​

And you cannot consider yourself

to be fully human unless you have

loved and accepted every single

part of yourself, without exception.

​

Here is a good question to ask 

yourself:

​

Is there anything I have ever done,

or anything I have ever experienced,

that I have not made peace with,

accepted, forgiven and relinquished

in its entirety?

​

In other words, am I still disturbed

by this?

​

Acceptance does not mean you

have to remain in relationship with

the person, place or thing.

​

As the old saying goes, "People

are in your life for a reason, a season

or a lifetime."

​

Each of you knows the difference

between, avoidance, running away

and that of completion.

​

Acceptance means that when you

recall the experience or life thrusts

you into the position of having to

encounter the experience or those

involved once again, you can maintain

your equanimity, you no longer contract,

shut down, act out or run away.

 

You will never be any more aware

of the presence of God than you

are to your own innermost being.

 

Look into a mirror often today.

 

For the One you see gazing back

at you is the living presence of God

in human form.

 

Treat them as such.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​​

The three that are ONE,

the ONE that is three.

​

Live Thou as me!

​

May I ever be aware that

I am that, I am.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

I thought I would begin

by telling a story that has

meant a lot to me for a

very long time. I know

that it's been at least

20 years since I first

heard her share it at

a Vipassana retreat.

 

Author and Buddhist teacher,

Sharon Salzberg, was who

shared it.

 

I know I don't have the

details perfect, but you

will catch the resonance,

or feeling tone of what

both she and I are sharing.

 

Memory fades as you age

and although I searched

the internet in an attempt

to find it, I could not.

 

So bear with this old

woman and her memory.

 

She spoke of a therapist

conference she had attended

and the key note speaker,

a psychologist and Buddhist,

had been recently diagnosed

with early onset Alzheimers.

 

The gentleman got up to

speak.

 

He looked out at the audience

and there were around 200

therapists in attendance, all

of whom were staring back

at him spellbound.

 

Suddenly, his mind was blank.

 

He did not know where he

was, all he knew for certain

in that moment was that he

was standing at a lectern

and there was a sea of faces

in front of him, all of whom

were staring with rapt attention.

 

Why was he here?

 

What was he supposed to be

talking about?

 

Knowing of nothing else that

he could do, he fell back onto

the simplest and most often

repeated training from his

many years as a practicing

Buddhist.

​

Be still.

​

Anchor awareness on

the breath.

​

Long and slow and deep.

​

Tune in. Immerse yourself

in what is unfolding in your

inner world.

​

What do you notice?

​

Be patient, loving and kind

to yourself.

 

And so he bowed his head

and put his hands into prayer

position as he grew more

and more still. 

 

He then started speaking

outloud, naming each

experience one by one.

 

Fear...

 

Overwhelm...

 

Embarrassment...

 

Self-conscious...

 

Shame...

​

Humiliation...

​

Anger....

​

Disappointment...

​

Failure...

 

Nausea....

​

Run now!

​

Kindness...

​

Tenderness...

​

As he repeated the final feeling

of which he was aware, he

felt memory return once again.

 

He apologized to his audience.

​

But when he looked up, he

saw that there was not a single

dry eye in the house after he

had carefully scanned all the

audience.

 

He had just delivered the most

powerful teaching he could have

ever shared, simply by being

willing to share his lived,

moment-by-moment experience!

 

I would like to share one of

my favorite quotes from

Sharon which says:

 

"You can search throughout

the entire universe for someone

who is more deserving of

your love and affection than

you are yourself, and that person

is not to be found anywhere.

 

You, yourself, as much as any-

body in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection."

 

Sharon Salzberg

 

And after decades of time sitting

on the cushion, I can honestly

share that either I no longer

meditate, or every moment is

meditation.

​

It depends entirely upon the

one who is asking.

 

If you believe that what

meditation is, is calming

the mind, focusing on a

fixed point such as the

tip of the nose and returning

to point when you become

distracted, scanning the body
with light, reciting a mantra

or other such practices, well

then, I have not meditated

a single time this decade.

​

All of which entails a basic

search for a more transcendent

state of consciousness, rather

than a humble embracing

of the human being I am as

I am, finding myself entirely

worthy of my most attentive

and loving care.

 

I actually gave my cushion

and former altar away.

​

Were I to have an altar

now it would simply have

a mirror on it.

​

Nothing else.

​

Or perhaps I might include

a few photos.

​

Pictures of those who

have played a pivotal role

in my life over the course

of this lifetime.

​​

So if your experience is

that meditation means

coming back to the isness

of your own direct experience,

seeing how long you can

remain there, steadfast,

relaxed, soft and open to

every experience of your

inner world, while ever

aware of your breath,

tending to yourself with

kindness, love and com-

passion, then every waking

moment of my life is a

moment of meditation

for me.

 

And quite frequently I watch

myself doing so in my sleep!
​

It is the first thing I notice

when I awaken each morning,

and it is the last thing that I

remember as I am falling to

sleep.

​

I do not measure my days

by anything other than

the question:

​

How well have I loved

myself today?

 

It is a living practice to be

grounded in my direct

experience of my inner

world, ever tending to me.

 

It took time, but I have

become the beloved for

whom I spent a lifetime

searching.

 

I am the guru, the teacher,

the friend.

 

I am the lover of God,

and the company

I keep?

 

None other than the

tabernacle of my

own beautiful heart.

​

Although I am more than

a bit sheepish to admit

this publically, I am

my own shero!​

 

I find myself kind of

amazing and my favorite

person to hang out with.

 

Wherever I am is holy

ground!

​

I do not need anyone to

approve of me, accept me

or tell me I am welcome

in their lives because I

have my own blessing

and seal of approval.

​

I am complete.

 

And I can honestly say,

who but myself deserves

more of my respect, kindness,

generosity, love and

tenderness than I?

​

Who understands the

fullness of what I have

experienced over the 

course of this lifetime?

​

Who but me wishes to

scoop that precious

being up into my arms

and love her with my

entire being?

 

Who could possibly

comprehend how brave

and noble I see that she

is, how gentle and kind

her experiences have

made her, how precious

and perfect I see her,

entirely worthy of the

most extraordinary love

and compassion?

​

Sharing my heart with

each of you today and

every day.

​

Remember to love the

one your with today,

in recognition that the

only one you are always

with is you!

 

pelkyong

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​​

Blessed be that I am

me and that I am a

one-of-a-kind.

 

Perhaps mama was right

when she said that God

broke the mold after he

made me.

 

President of my own

fan club, I'm my #1

fan!

​

I'm hopelessly in love with

the ONE living me!

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I thought I would give you

all an update on my kitty saga.

 

Violet was supposed to have

arrived at 7:00 PM last night.

 

Alas, no kitty showed up and

I went to bed at 11:00 PM

which was uncharacteristically

late for me.

 

I am not 100% certain, but at

least 80% certain that, with the

help of my friend Jacquie, little

Miss Violet was a scam.

 

Now I have been through

the entire gamut of human

emotions during the course

of this experience, and when

you add to that the shock

of experiencing the death

of my younger brother,

there has been a lot that has

unfolded, both within and

without, over the course of

the last two weeks!

 

Now some people would tell

you that I was a sucker, a

chump, a fool too naive to

not be taken advantage of.

 

And I have had 4 gurus during

the course of this lifetime, only

one of which remains alive

(Who I no longer consider him

my guru, btw...I am my own

guru and so are you), each

of which spent their entire lives

trying to transcend the

human experience, denying

their humanity, whilst

hanging onto the illusion

that this somehow made them

superior to the rest of us poor

suckers here on planet psycho,

but how is that not incredibly

dualistic and a crock of shit?

 

And I recognize that the spiritual

majority on this planet would

tell you that this was so that I would

come to loath my human experience

a bit more so that I could chase

the experience of transcendence,

and were I to make it my greatest

achievement as well, would somehow

make me immune from the human

experience altogether, or as ACIM

would state,awaken me to the

"happy dream."

​

While the bulk of humanity spends

their entire lives trying to change

and control themselves, others, and

life because they believe they know

better than God.

 

How is that not also dualistic and

a big steaming pile of you-know-

what?

 

My guru in the nineties, who has

been dead since 2002, said that

while in the prolonged state of

deep meditation, he had traced

the universe from its inception to

its ending and then back again

26 times and could not find the 

first time it occurred because it was

a loop that kept endlessly

repeating itself.

​

This made a whole helluva lot of

sense to me.

 

Yet he still taught that the path

was about the total transcendence

of the human experience.

​

He never ever seemed to really

be here at all.

​

And he loved being seen as other

worldly and have people bow down

and worship him.

 

This was supposed to be the

meaning and purpose of life.

 

But again I call bullshit.

 

When is anyone ever going

to learn to trust themselves?

 

Here is what I have discovered

and how I look upon the whole

Violet situation thus far:

 

Did I make a painful mistake?

 

No. I did experience pain,

however.

 

What happened was what was

meant to happen and how

I experienced it was how I was

supposed to experience it.

 

Was I a naive moron who got

fleeced?

 

No. As I said before, I had an

experience.

 

Being a spiritual being who

is having a human experience

does not render me immune

from experiencing everything

that it is my destiny to experience.

 

I have absolutely no control

over anything whatsoever.

 

So while I am human, I also

experience myself as love or

light, and beyond that, I

experience myself as the

Infinite Void which I encountered

in my NDE.

 

That which is the formless and

Infinite Source of everything.

 

Can you grasp Brahma, Vishnu

and Shiva revealing themselves

in all of this?

 

Formlessness taking form

and being sustained as form,

and then all of it going through

the process of falling away

and returning to the infinite

Formlessness which begat it all?

 

Can you see how this cycle is

repeating itself?

 

God/Void ------> Love/light ------>

form.

 

Then form discovers itself

as ------> love/light--------->

which then discovers itself

as the Infiniteness Formlessness

which created it all.

 

And then the Infinite Formlessness

experiences Itself again as the

light/love, which then experiences

itself as the human being.

 

Back and forth.

 

Endlessly repeating cycles.

 

So the purpose of my having

awakened spiritually was not to

free me of my humanity, because

it is through the willingness, day

after day, to have this human

experience, as it is, that actually

frees me of the belief that I am

the human being that is typing

these words whilst trying to

become what I really am.

 

Now I recognize that I am

all three, the Holy Trinity.

 

The three that are ONE but

also three.

 

So I embrace this experience

of Violet and the experience

of the death of my brother

and the experience of this

body and all that having this

very human experience has

been providing me with

since I took my very first

breath and that I will continue

experiencing until I take my

final one and exit stage left.

 

Is it perfect as it is?

 

Yes.

 

My life is perfect for me.

 

It would not be perfect for

anyone else on this planet,

but it sure as shit has been

and is the perfect life for me.

 

And each experience I have,

frees me of my identification

with the human experience

a little bit more.

​

[In the world but not of it.]

 

If you are very still and very

honest with yourself, can you

not see as well that every

experience that you have

ever had has also freed you

more than you felt before?

 

Perhaps it took a little bit

of time to get there, but

eventually you did, did

you not?

 

I refuse to make myself wrong

for anything.

 

And I am not a fuck up or

a damn fool which is what

my father called me my

entire life, so much so that

I told my kindergarten teacher

this was what to call me

when she asked me my name.

 

And I refuse to make you

wrong for anything either.

 

All I can see is a plan that

is unfolding and it is not me

that is making it all happen.

 

There is a Infinite Intelligence

at work here who is the Supreme

Doer of Everything.

 

Let's just leave it nameless,

okay?

 

Cuz I am just leaning back

and letting cruise control

whiz me on down the highway'

while I am just a passenger

along for the ride.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​​

Prayer from the Upanishads:

 

Reduce me to nothing (ashes),

that I may be raised to

Infinity.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I know... I know...

 

I realize that everyone is

probably sick and tired

of me talking about all

the epiphanies and

realizations that have

unfolded in my awareness

since my brother's death

and my brief peripheral

reconnection with my

family of origin.

​

Unless of course....

​

...perhaps not?

​

Maybe I have this all

wrong.

​

After all, who doesn't

have family issues of

one kind or another?

​

I am sure that the answer

to that question is,

"Precious few."

 

Nonetheless, please bear

with me...

 

Today is the last day that

I am going to talk about it

because I had my final

and most important

epiphany yesterday, or

at least I think that is

what I experienced...

 

It was like the Big Bang

went off in my head.

​

First there was an

explosion, then a vision,

followed by a lightning

strike across the horizon

of my inner world which

pierced the very center

of my being, in response

to your final statement

to me yesterday.

 

In it you said the following:

 

So be of good cheer today,

for you have overcome

yourself.

 

And in doing so, you have

overcome your history and

your world.

 

And I saw an image of that

ride at the State Fair where

everyone puts their backs

against the wall of this

hollow circular barrel

and it spins super fast and

then the bottom drops

out and the centripetal

force plasters you against

the wall so you do not

fall. No one does.

​

And you cannot move a 

muscle either, until the

ride is over.

 

You remain glued in place

until the ride stops and

the bottom again raises

to meet your feet.

​

You leave dizzy as hell

and your balance is a

bit wompy for quite

a while afterward.

​

Some actually threw up.

 

As I recall, it was called

the Gravitron.

 

In this vision which had

filled my inner world,

the bottom represented

myself, as I experienced me,

and the overcoming of

myself was the experience

of the bottom dropping out.

​

And then when the bottom

returned, it represented

a new way of being in the

world. 

​

Relaxed...

Loving people instead of

trying to fix them or change

them...

Loving myself...no longer

trying to change me...

No longer trying to survive

my human experience...

Rather, living as Soul whilst 

experiencing being human.

​

That was the flash of white

hot lightning which struck

the very core of my being.

 

Suddenly I knew that the

mistake that all human

beings make, that I had

made, was that of believing

that the voice between our

ears, the thinker, represents

who we are.

 

But all that voice really is,

is an assemblage of

brainwashing and con-

ditioning, crazy pro-

gramming, storyline,

one's interpretation of

their history, their biases,

opinions, judgments,

preferences, retained

suffering, grievances and

the will to survive.

​

It is not a real person, it is

merely bits and pieces of

faulty code which is stored

in the hard drives of our

mainframe which we then

mistake for "me, myself

and I."

 

Faulty programming...

 

A bunch of 1's and 0's,

the software of the

created self, which is

manufactured by the

mind, that we then

mistake for who we are,

we mistake for an identity

which is real.

 

It became clear to me

that believing this voice

is what keeps us on the

horizontal axis of this

world, ever striving to

change ourselves, each

other and our world.

 

And because this information

is stored in a very primitive

part of the mind, it is obsessed

with what others are doing

or what is happening in

the world, wanting it or

them to change so that it

can feel happy or safe.

​

It, therefore, is the very

barycenter of its universe,

and everyone and everything

else, the celestial bodies

which are held in place 

within its gravitational field.

 

But when we realize that this

is not who or what we are,

that we are the Soul, the

bottom then drops out

of the Gravitron and

we align with the vertical

axis of truth/light/God/Soul,

whatever you wish to call it.

 

However, it is none of those

words. A word or name is

a limitation that we place

on that which cannot be

spoken. It is the mind's

attempt to reduce Infinity

into the finite.

 

When you get this, it truly

is overcoming yourself.

 

At this point, a question

arises.

 

Am I trying to survive

the experience of being

me by trying to change

myself or others, or am

I simply and humbly

loving myself for the

human being that I am,

and loving others by

giving them the freedom

to be who and how they

are?

 

So really, if we are truly

focused on staying on

our side of the street,

we do not have time to

fixate on what other

people are doing or 

not doing.

​

And if we really and truly

love ourselves, we become

unwilling to associate

with people, places or 

things which are not

respectful, kind or loving.

​

The question, "Does this

support my awareness

of peace?" becomes the

pivot point upon which

our lives now turn.

 

And we see that it is our

own obsession with

listening to the voice

between our ears, giving

it our undivided attention

and mistaking what it is

telling us for the truth,

that keeps us on the

hamster wheel of never-

ending chaos, misery

and suffering in the first

place.

 

This always reminds me

of mother monkeys at

the zoo who are constantly

grooming their babies.

 

Enough already!

 

Pick! Pick! Pick!

 

Acceptance truly is a very

fine thing after all.

 

Soul: You are each living

under so much strain in

this decade and the human

brain and nervous system

were never designed to live

under such unrelenting states

of stress and overwhelm.

 

I am by no means trying to

tell you that anything that

is happening in your life

or this world is is a mistake.

 

We planned everything to

be precisely as it is after a

great deal of reflection.

 

How else will everyone see

their blind spots unless life

paints each of you into a

corner and you are then

forced to look upon what

you have denied, because

it was the truth?

​

Remember when we said that

human beings are never

ready for truth until their

pain becomes greater than

their fear?

​

me: Of course I remember

that. It reminds me of the

line from ACIM which says,

"tolerance for pain is not

without limits."

 

Soul: But this is the secret to

every experience you will

ever encounter.

 

Remain on your side of the

street, focused upon your

experience.

 

One has to be very brave

to stay the course.

 

Can you remain focused

upon your experience

without feeling the need

to blame others for it or

wishing it to be different

than it is?

​

And can you be tender and

gentle with yourself, offering

yourself unconditional love

while doing so?

 

Remember, you are

doing this for yourself,

for no one else.

 

As you told your niece

Megan yesterday, you

have to save the only one

you can save, yourself.

 

For it is your willingness

to simply be you that is

all the world has ever

needed.

​

This is what it means to be

the light of the world.

 

Nothing more, but certainly

not less.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Help me cease and desist my

scratching of this endless itch

which drives me to try to fix

others or myself and accept

everyone, including myself,

exactly as we are.

 

Life ain't half bad when

I remember this.

 

In fact, it's kind of trippy!

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I wish to share again today.

It feels as though I have lived

a thousand lifetimes in the last

24 hours.

​

And I did spend hours yesterday

feeling a cascade of emotions

that ranged from sadness, to

anger and frustration.

​

And you know what that trip

down memory lane revealed?

​

Most of the feelings that I was

experiencing had far more

to do with my experience of

my parents and remaining

siblings than it had anything

to do with Brad.

​

I have enjoyed communing

with him in the in-between

state, the bardo of becoming,

as we were processing both

of our lives together.

​

That was a real gift, a treasure

I will hold onto for the remainder

of my life.

​

This mini life review revealed

many things to me.

​

I feel an overwhelming

desire to share some of those

realizations now that I am

beyond the initial shock of

Brad having passed away.

 

It has been mind-blowing,

heart crushing, and yet 

expansive. And as unsettling

as it may sound, it has

ripped the scaffolding

right out from beneath my

feet. A scaffolding which had

needed to go for a very

long time I might add. And

the net/net?

 

I am experiencing the

exhilarating freedom of

having no self, a freedom

which can only reveal itself

with the surrender of

the identity of the created

self, who you thought that

you had to become in order

to survive.

​

And the first thing I realized?

 

YOU CANNOT SURRENDER

WHAT YOU CANNOT SEE.

 

NO ONE CAN.

​

Although I have both felt

and observed huge chunks

of who I thought I was fall

away over the course of

the last 50 years, what has

fallen away in the past 24

hours has felt like an utter

loss of identification with

what I had thought of as

myself, the self which had

remained.

​

And you know what?

 

I wouldn't trade all the sorrow

and heartbreak of yesterday

for all the tea in China.

 

What human beings have yet

to realize is that the place

where we are stuck is the

part that we cannot see,

and in order to see it, life

has to deliver a series of

events which make us

willing to see.

​

Or, as Twelve Steppers are

so fond of saying, having life

beat us into a state of

resonableness.

​

Otherwise we are as blind

as a one-legged man in

an ass kicking contest.

 

It is also the precise place

of our release.

 

The prison cell becomes the

place and space of where the

jailbreak occurs when we

open our eyes and see!

 

Although it was evident how

much my life had changed,

even though I am still the

same me that I have always

been, there was yet more

to see and experience.

​

I had only just begun.

 

I have realized more in the

past twenty four hours

than the previous six years

of this incredible decade.

 

And although I had come to

a place of deep acceptance

where my family was concerned,

I realized today that there were

still subtle, yet strong, under-

pinnings where I continued to

suffer because not one of them

could see me, and I still wanted

them to change. There were still

places where I felt dejected and

rejected, a failure who was entirely

incapable of changing or be-

friending any of them, any more

than I could change myself.

 

Today I got it.

 

None of them needed to change

any more than I did.

 

And with the radical acceptance

of each of them, as they are, not

as I wished they were, I felt

a huge vascular umbilical cord

that had kept me tethered to each

of them for 72 years burn in a flash

of light which was so bright, I

was temporarily struck blind!

 

I felt so at peace with each of them,

the way they are, as I surrendered

the wish that they be any different

than they are.

 

Such a lightness of heart and

unfiltered joy filled me to

overflowing.

 

So how do we know the difference

between who we are here to help

from those whom we cannot?

​

Well you see, the trick is in

recognizing that you cannot

do anything. 

​

You cannot change anything.

​

You are not the real Doer.

​

If it is their destiny to see, you

will feel their ripeness, 

readiness and yearning

to see and be free.

​

Only then does your

presence mean anything

to them.

​

Did you notice that?

​

It is your presence that is the

real doer, the presence of

God within you.

 

You cannot have an impact in

anyone's life who does not

want this just as much for

themselves.

​

Time for another of daddy's

choice sayings:

​

You can lead a horse to water,

but you cannot make him

drink.

 

And more than this, I was

the one with the problem

because I wanted them to

see me.

 

That was a high stakes poker

game I was never going to

win.

 

I wanted them to want

what I have discovered for

the sake of all of us when that

is clearly not their destiny.

​

If it was meant to happen,

it would have.

​

The fact that it had not was

proof that it was never meant

to be.

 

Their destiny both was and

is the very life which they are

living now, the life they have

lived since the day they were

born, in the precise manner

in which they are living it.

​

And it is perfectly okay, in fact,

it is what has always been meant

to be, recognizing that their

destiny does not include me

in anything more than a

peripheral way.

​

It never has and it never will.

​

The question is, can I embrace

that?

​

Can I love and respect everyone's

unfolding, no matter what it is,

including my own?

 

No one is capable of changing

themselves, or anyone else

for that matter.

​

It is what it is and what it will

always be in this particular 

lifetime.

​

We are who we are, nothing 

more and nothing less.

 

Not me, not you, nor the world

is capable of changing who

they intrinsically are.

 

And the truth is, nobody needs

to change!

​

No one has ever needed to.

 

When viewed through the lens

of your humanity, you cannot

help but feel that the world

is experiencing a crash course

in death and dying this decade.

 

But when viewed through the

aperture of the heart, you

recognize the innate perfection

in how life is unfolding.

 

You cannot help but trust and

marvel at it all!

 

We are all being who we came

here to be and how we came

here to be.

 

And my final realization?

 

I represent a future consciousness

in our present day world, not a

future world, our present world.

​

And although I had never shared

this memory with anyone other

than my sister, Mary, my favorite

memory of all times from my

childhood was that of lifting her

out of her crib, gathering both

of our teddy bears, a stack of

books and a flashlight so that

I could read to her.

​

She looked at each picture with

such wrapt attention as I pretended

that I knew how to read.

​

She was less than one year old

and I was a little over three.

​

I remember feeling so much love 

and adoration for her as I told

her, "I am your big sister. And I

will always protect you from

the monsters and keep you

safe because I love you so

much!"

​

That was the moment when i

stopped being the real me.

​

It was when I gave  up my agency

and autonomy and became

the actor who tried to survive.

​

Because in the very next breath,

Daddy came in and put Mary back

into her crib as he yanked me up

by the arm and screamed at

me, "Maybe you don't need

any sleep but the rest of us

do! Leave your sister alone!"

​

Like I said, future consciousness...

 

So of course I am going to

encounter resistance, judgment,

fear, rage, and a whole lot of sass!

​

The best message in all of this?

​

Keep the pie hole shut. It is your

life and your frequency which

is the message you came to

deliver.

 

So hands off the human scene,

boys and girls.

 

There is no problem.

​

You were never meant to be a

backseat driver.

​

You are the witness that is

observing the unfolding of

the greatest show on earth!

 

These are the thoughts that

this heart wished to share

here today.

 

Soul: It is vital that you remember

to have compassion for yourself

and your siblings.

 

You cannot blame them for

never seeing you when they were

never capable of doing so.

 

That was your issue, not theirs.

​

They were not created to

see or feel who you are.

​

Notice the not-so-subtle

arrogance in that expectation?

 

You did not come here to change

them. You came here to love them,

and to love them exactly as they

are.

 

But like Kenny Rogers said in

the song The Gambler, which

you very much loved, "You got

to know when to hold 'em. Know

when to fold 'em. Know when to

walk away, know when to run."

​

You have now understood

and are complete with each

of them.

​

And as you indicated yesterday,

your completion does not 

require anything at all from them.

​

Give them the freedom to be

who they are and to believe

what they believe.

 

Is this not the very thing that

you want for yourself?

​

Leave the past in the rear view

mirror. It is not the lens through

which you are to experience 

life unless you refuse to let go

of it.

​

Got that?

​

me: I certainly do.

 

Soul: It is certainly wonderful

to see you giddy with happiness.

 

Joy is contagious!

 

You are on the perfect timeline

for the perfect destiny for you,

and so is everyone else on

this planet.

​

It cannot be any other way.

​

No one can usurp the power

of God.

 

So be of good cheer today,

for you have overcome yourself.

 

And in doing so, you have

overcome your history and

your world.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

I feel so frickin' happy my

cheeks hurt today.

 

Once again, thank you

for my life.

 

It has been the perfect life

for me.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Dear Soul Family:

 

I found out yesterday that

my brother, Brad, died.

 

His wife found him dead

slumped over in a chair.

 

The cause of death was a

massive heart attack.

 

Although he was 10 years

younger than me, his health

had not been good for a very

long time and he lived with

chronic pain for the past 20+

years, which required in-patient

hospitalization countless times.

 

As far as I am concerned,

I am happy for him. His

day-to-day struggles are

over.

​

And he had a beautiful family.

His wife, sons and grandchildren

can attest to that.

​

Brad was a decent human

being. Peaceful, calm and

loving, no matter what, in

spite of the deep scars 

that he carried from the

childhood we endured;

a shared experience one

would think would bond

us together in support of

one another, but instead,

made us behave like

caged feral animals.

​

What I am trying to say is

that he worked very hard

not to allow his childhood

to define who he would be

as a husband, father,

grandfather, neighbor,

friend, co-worker or even 

stranger.

​

He thought of himself as

a good Christian, in the

truest sense of the word.

​

Not like one of those

right wing nut jobs who

believe that proselytizing

and brow beatings are

the best means by which

to convert all the heathens

and heretics in this world.

​

Haven't we all seen enough

violence in the name of

a God who does not exist?

​

I am not saying there is no

God, I am saying thank god

that that god is enirely

imaginal.

​

Brad was a gentle giant who

dared to live what he believed,

to let his life do the talking.

I felt a quiet loving strength

in him that kept putting one

foot in front of the other

no matter what.

​

Who could ever find fault

in a shining life example

such as this?

 

When life sucks and quality

is no longer there, why

fight for more days, only to

remain here in a body that

no longer allows you to live

comfortably, one which had

long since outlived its

usefulness as a sustainable

and functioning vehicle?

 

And no matter how much you

feel you have resolved the

past in your own life, no matter

how many respectful words

you can use to cognitively

reframe your experience with

your family of origin, life makes

certain that life events unfold

in such a way that you are

forced to take another trip

down memory lane when

the soul says it is time for

you to do so again.

​

I had to look once again at

the life choices and decisions

I had made, weigh them

carefully, and listen to what

my heart was telling me

was the next most peaceful

thing to do.

​

I have considered it a right

of passage to have made

the decision to terminate

entirely all contact with my

family of origin early in the

pandemic.

 

Then sibling #1 died, my

sister Katie, the youngest

of all three girls, and this

had been no surprise.

 

After all, as my father used

to say about her, she rode

life hard and put it away wet.

 

So I was called to open

Pandora's box briefly

when she passed away

3 years ago in support of

her three daughters.

 

So many people feel tied to

their families and do not have

the courage to end relationships

which are toxic, unloving, and

neither supportive or healthy,

in favor of loving oneself.

 

It is a proud moment of

victory when you are no

longer willing to place

yourself in a sweatbox of

dysfunction, subjecting

yourself to endless cruelty,

where one is always placing

themselves directly in the

line of fire.

​

How many times do you have

to play the victim card before

you realize that you are no longer

a victim, you are a volunteer?

​

And not only a volunteer, but

one who does not love themselves

or they would never put them-

selves into such a position in

the first place!

 

No one says you have to keep

tolerating the intolerable in

the name of honoring certain

relationships which you are

told are sacred, to people

who are cruel, abusive and

unkind.

​

People who will fight you over

the most mundane things at

any time, but will never stand up

for you or challenge the in-

appropriate and out of line

in your name?

 

I know that a lot of this is cultural,

and parts of it are generational

but mostly I feel that it is religious

brainwashing which keeps us

trying to pound the square peg

into the round hole, seeking

love and approval from people

who do not have the capacity

to love you in return because

they do not love themselves.

 

And why?

 

All in the name of honoring

father and mother and being

there through thick and

thin for siblings, come hell or

high water, when they have

never been there for you

a single time in your entire

life?

 

I call bullshit.

 

I worked hard to make peace

in my heart with my family.

 

And I discovered that this did not

require them to want peace

with me.

​

For a very long time, I truly

believed that there could be

no peace until they wanted it

as badly as I did.

​

But as our father also was fond

of saying, you cannot make

a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

 

And one blessed day, in June

of 2020, after a series of email

exchanges with my sister, Mary,

I decided that the most loving,

kind and supportive thing that

I could do for myself was to

block all forms of communication

with my siblings and accept

that it was no one's responsibility

to love me other than my own.

​

As I said, I made exceptions

for Katie's three daughters,

knowing that they would miss

having a mother figure in

their lives.

​

But with time, this became

too painful to continue when

they lied, stole, broke promises

and were found with no more

integrity than that of their mother,

my little sister.

 

It is so sad that it takes some

of us so long to grow up, while

some of us never begin.

 

While this decade has been one

of unending chaos, mayhem,

uncertainty, political unrest,

the highest suicide rate in

recorded history with more

people going postal, wars,

the crumbling of our democracy

and its moral center, as well

as the massive repercussions

from climate change and global

warming, I have managed to

flourish in an unparalleled degree 

when compared to every other

decade I have experienced in

my lifetime.

 

I am happy and joyous, and

by golly, I am free!

 

Yes, I have lost a best friend

of almost 30 years, I have

experienced the death

of her little dog of 17 years

who became mine until

her passing in May of 2025.

 

I have experienced the closing

of the doors of my 501c3

which had been my heart and

my life for the past 25 years.

​

And I have experienced many

health challenges which included

a stroke,a third degree heart

block, receiving a pacemaker

which was necessary to keep

my heart beating and cancer.

 

In spite of all of this, I enjoy

the most dynamic and

fulfilling life that I could

ever dream of or imagine.

 

I am happy and peaceful

every single day, and I know

the loving companionship

of my Soul!

 

So I write this thought today

in honor of my brother,

Brad.

 

Little brother, I wish you

happy trails and smooth

seas as you embark on the

next chapter in the journey

of soul.

 

I love you with all of my heart.

Feel free to pay me a visit

from time-to-time, whenever

you feel an itch to do so.

 

My heart and my home are

always yours.

 

your big sis,

 

pelkyong

​

Soul: These are the loving

words from one who has

a heart as big as the world

and the wisdom to match

it.

​

May you all experience

peace today, pressed down

and running over.

​

Let's keep it on pause

today, shall we?

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Be at peace, beloved

brother.

 

You got me, when no

else ever took the

time to even look,

let alone listen.

 

I'll be joining you soon

enough.

 

Keep my seat warm for

me, will you?

 

xoxo

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

Soul: How did your day go

yesterday?

 

me: Each day I experience

with more depth that how

I feel, as well as how I am

experiencing my life, is

both anchored and aligned

in you.

 

I would be lost and adrift

without this communion of

union and connectivity that

we share.

 

It is so clear to me that the

puzzle piece that I had been

missing all of my life was that

of being in an intimate, loving

and fully supportive relationship

with this body, with this mind,

these emotions and with my

experience.

​

I know me...

 

And I can say this because it is

you that makes this possible.

 

The human ego or persona

cannot live this way.

 

It is not equipped for anything

other than trying its best to stay

a step ahead of everyone else

in the game we call life.

​

Steel dipped marshmallows

trying to keep all the plates

spinning so that it looks good

and enviable to those who live

from the outside in.

 

But this isn't living, this is not

life!

 

Human success and riches

mean nothing when compared

to a life that is lived in unity

and harmony with you.

 

There are no words that can

sufficiently express what it

feels like to know myself, to

move in synchronized harmony

with my experience, and to be

able to meet myself, as I am,

with tenderness, compassion,

kindness and empathy however

I happen to show up.

 

This life feels transcendent

to me.

 

Each time I believe that I cannot

possibly live any more trans-

parently than I am, you show me

how much more deeply I can

pour myself into the experience

of being me, which is the gift

we bring to the world.

​

And it requires absolutely

nothing other than my presence,

me actively and consciously

being willing to be genuinely

myself.

​

It's the frequency of this energy

that is your gift to the world.

 

This life...my life...is all I have

to offer this world and I would

not change a thing, even if I

could.

 

No other way of being would feel

genuinely alive and worth living.

 

I know what you would say to me

in answer to this.

 

You are always flowing through

me to this world, regardless.

 

Your presence does not depend

upon whether or not I am aware

or oblivious to you making 

yourself known in this world.

 

You do so through all of us.

 

In this perspective one can begin

to feel more than a bit immaterial.

 

Yet I know that what makes my life

feel beautiful to me is that I feel

your presence living in fusion

with my being.

 

This adds a certain synchronicity

and a harmony, a clear perspective

to all my experiences, which fills

my heart with peace rather than

doubt.

 

And those moments when I

temporarily feel derailed by

my experience of being me

and my life, like yesterday with

the kitty?

 

The pain is unbearable.

 

I feel like the princess and the pea.

​

I do not feel like running away from

the world, I want to run away from

me!

 

What else need be said beyond

this?

​

The pain of trying to be a lone

ranger gets me every time.

 

To be able to bear witness to how

you shine so effulgently through

my humanity when I dare to live

this human experience with

vulnerability and transparency,

choosing to share it with those

who can hear me, as well as those

who cannot, is the field of infinite

possibility, the truly remarkable

and the miraculous! 

 

I refuse to live my life hiding

behind the spiritual.

​

That is such a common practice

in the religious and spiritual

marketplace.

​

The spiritual only truly comes

into play through my humanity!

 

You cannot ignore your human

life... That is dualistic by nature

in and of itself.

​

Surely one can see the wholesale

arrogance of that!

 

And you know what else is

abundantly clear to me?

 

You have need of me in this

world!

 

Since you abide within me

because you are a part of me

as I am part of you, I am necessary

to your plan of making your

presence a palpably felt

experience in this world.

 

Just consider yesterday.

 

Three people contacted me 1:1

who were having a tough time.

 

One with their partner, one with

what is happening in the world,

and the third one was feeling

lost and adrift, that their life

lacked meaning or purpose.

 

And the words came because I

was listening to you and each one

felt more empowered to live

the life that is theirs to live with

greater trust and a commitment

to slow down and remember to

breathe.

 

But my point is that I look around

me and it is evident that no one

is at peace.

​

Peace is such a rare and precious

commodity in this world that few

know first hand.

 

As I look around me day after day,

I see a world that does not feel

genuine changeless peace.

 

A good day is one in which

you manage to get through it

without too many things going

too far off kelter, falling within

the parameters of their ideation

of what safety and security means.

 

Exhausted from your day, you eat

your dinner, maybe have a drink

or two, go to bed, hoping for a

good night's sleep, only to awaken

and begin the whole thing all

over again.

 

Everyone is biding their time,

pushing outside of this moment

into the plans they have made,

not really here and now but ever

future bound, looking to what

is next.

 

Maybe if they keep busy, they

will not have to feel the underlying

despair and falseness of their

lives.

 

It is so rare to meet someone

who is deeply connected to

themselves and life, who one

can genuinely feel your presence

shining from within them, who

you can tell live in a consciously

loving relationship with you.

 

No one slows down or is paying

attention to what is, seeing the

gift in the hair, guts and feathers

of all of it.

 

They are not content with what

is because I witness them actively

efforting in the pursuit of more,

better or different from what is

the here and now of their

experience.

 

I don't know how they manage

to not feel haunted by imposter

syndrome and absolutely crazy

from the robotic nature of their

lives, their routines, and that

they are just blindly going

through the motions, waiting

for the clock to strike midnight

and their earthly sojourn is one

and done.

 

We live in such a crazy decade

and life is moving so fast...

 

So I feel like it is an utterly

amazing thing to demonstrate

by how you live that peace

and happiness are always

available no matter what

and that the light shines

brilliantly if you are looking

for it in the midst of the

mundane as well as within

the storms of life.

 

Soul: These are some very good

thoughts with which to begin

the weekend.

​

Of what are you aware?

​

That is the question of the day.

​

Keeping to our plan for the

weekend to be geared toward

relaxation and integration of

of the week's content, I leave

you with the following words:

 

Slow down...

Breathe...

Accept...

Allow...

​

Keep your eyes and your heart

open.

​

Remain aware.

 

And remember, if it is not

peaceful, it is not for you.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Help me to keep my life

just this simple as I move

through the upheaval,

uncertanty and chaos

that plagues this world

because it has forgotten

the value of simplicity

and peace.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I always feel that it is

important for me to share

openly and honestly about

my inner experience of life

so that others will be able

to see how easy it is to live

this, moment-by-moment,

as a way of life.

 

For those who do not know,

I have been trying to get

a new little kitty for the past

week. After a whole lot of

searching, I found the sweet

little girl who was perfect for

me.

 

I felt as though she was

rescuing me as much as I

was rescuing her.

 

She seemed to be the perfect

companion as I go through

my latest health challenges.

 

So many people were helping

me make it a possibility.

 

One person donated a litter

box and a food dish.

 

Another a kitty blanket,

another a laser pen light.

 

Yet another a bed for her to

sleep in and a scratching

post.

 

It was all coming together.

so beautifully. Destiny was

unfolding so miraculously!

 

Long story short, I

encountered several snags

along the way that not

only held things up, it made

things look highly unlikely

that we were ever going

to work out.

​

I had sooooo much skin

in the game!

 

First, I gave myself a migraine

headache.

 

I had anxiety. Then I could not

sleep.

 

I made myself ill. I spent half

a day in the bathroom.

 

I fretted and shamed myself

for allowing this to get to me.

 

The mind which had been

blissfully silent for so long,

suddenly was up to no good.

 

Very punitive, that psychopath

who lives between my two

ears!

​

Was it here to stay?

​

That, I had yet to learn,

depended solely upon me.

 

And then today, rather than

tell myself self-berating

and hostile messages which

were highly damning, you

know what I mean....things

like "I should be able to

handle things better than

this," I bowed inwardly

before the human being

that I am.

 

I spoke to her with such

genuine kindness and respect.

 

I communicated to her, not

with words, but with actions

that it was perfectly okay

for her to have whatever

experience she was having.

​

I was here, not to judge her,

but to lovingly support her

and listen to her with a heart

which had been tenderized

by God.

​

And you know what I discovered?

 

All she needed was a little

kindness from me in order to

settle down.

 

I would be the space where her

experience could all unfold in

whatever way that it was

presenting itself.

 

And lo and behold!

 

I received a new photo of my

little kitty this morning with

the good news that she will

arrive sometime this weekend.

 

It is such a fine thing to stop

and meet the human being

that you are however you are

with kindness, respect and

spaciousness.

 

For that precious being to

feel that is perfectly okay

to be both human and

Divine, because are we not

all of it?

​

Her upset has no impact

on the soul we truly are?

​

That I care more for her than

she imagines, more than my 

previous behavior toward her

had demonstrated?

 

Was that not the essence of

my message from yesterday?

​

This is how wholeness and

completion reveal themselves

in our lives in real time.

 

I am so happy.

 

I am going to get a new kitty.

 

Her name is Violet.

 

And I am all ready to be the

pet parent to her that I

never had when I was a child.

 

I hope you can see how utterly

practical this way of living our

lives actually is.

 

Life happens and I am here.

 

Not to fix myself.

 

Not to try to change how I am

experiencing anything.

​

Nor to try to force life to change

the way that it is playing out

so that things unfold the way

that I want them to, which is

naturally in my favor, according

to my wishes.

 

I am here to love and support

the precious human being

that I am exactly as I am, through

every single twist and turn of

life!

 

Can you imagine how beautiful

the world would be if we all

took the time to live this way

and support each other as we

embark upon this journey

of being simply human in

that vast Ocean of humanity

who are here to experience

this fully immersive game

we call life?

 

Soul: My, you have had a

very full week, have you

not?

​

And I both applaud and

support your efforts to live

transparently.

 

me: I can tell you one thing,

I am most certainly grateful

that every week isn't like this

one has been!

 

Soul: Did you see how loving

and supporting yourself in

the midst of your experience

was a portal into another

dimension?

 

How letting go allows every-

thing to return to harmony

and balance?

 

me: Yes! I most certainly did.

 

It makes me so sad when

I see that human beings are

trained to suffer, not how

to live happily, lovingly and

peacefully.

​

How could those who populated

our world demonstrate truth to us

when we were small?

​

They knew no more about

happiness, love or peace than

we did!

 

It is a grim fact that no one

had ever loved us enough

to train us in how to be happy.

​

And the world we experience

will always mirror how we see

and experience ourselves.

 

Soul: That is why I ask that

each of you hit your pause

button today and commit

to having a really great life,

which is really easy to do 

when you take the time to

love the one you are with,

realizing that one always

happens to be none other

than yourself, beloved.

 

Every moment can be a truly

glorious moment if you

have the courage to experience

your experience, really and truly

experience it, supporting

yourselves as you do so,

rather than pretending

that you are not having it

and then try to be rid of it

A.S.A.P., or shame yourself

for having it in the first

place.

 

Belonging does not arise

through suffering.

​

That is the path of isolation.

loneliness and separation.

 

And for the world?

​

That, dear one, is business

as usual. That is a dog-eat-dog

world!

 

It was never meant to be

your way.

​

Remember, you came to be

a living demonstration of

a new way of being human.

 

Life is about all of it.

 

That's about both/and, not 

either/or .

 

What if you were to discover

that you do not need to

suffer anymore?

 

This is the organic revelation

which arises when you realize

that you have only ever been

fighting with yourselves.

 

What if you were to allow

the battle to be over,

once-and-for-all?

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Precious being that I am,

I am so sorry I ever waged

war with you about how

you experienced anything.

​

You were never wrong, but I

tried to make you feel that

you were.

​

Unbeknownst to me, I was

the author of your shame.

 

I vow to support you

from here on out however

you show up.

 

I'll be your bff and #1 fan.

 

I hereby give you permission

to be who you are and how

you are and to love you

every step of the way.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Would you mind if 

our dialogue for today

comes from me?

 

Soul: Of course not. You

have the floor in its entirety.

Go for it.

 

me: The first thing that I

feel that it is important to

share is that I am one of 6

people who get together

on Zoom every Monday

morning to discuss our

lives, what we are

experiencing and our basic

yearning for the truth.

​

Here we find a profound

experience of acceptance,

non-judgment and

unconditional love.

​

Longing to be established

in a stable peace, aching for

a place of refuge from the

storms of life, we each

answered an inner calling

that we heard, not in words

per se, but an unmistakable

yearning which we felt from

you, none the less.

 

We are from three different

countries and we represent

one of the most diverse

slices of humanity that one

could ever encounter.

 

Had we met at a different

point in our lives, I highly

doubt that we would have

discovered the gift of

genuine love and intimacy

that we have found with

one another.

 

Yet we love each other so

deeply, and each of us is as

equally committed to the

revelation and embodiment

of truth as is the next.

 

We are what I have come to

think of as a beloved community,

who meet with one another

heart to heart.

 

And we find an unmistakable

sense of refuge with each

other in the bonds of our

shared Identity as Soul.

 

This is what we find in each

other and cherish...

 

I am not a leader, a teacher,

a guide, and I do not pretend

to have any answers.

​

Sure. I have been profoundly

gifted in this life to have had

some life altering experiences.

​

But to cling to the experiences

themselves, as if they were

the answer, is to create yet

another religion which the 

world does not need.

​

As in all things, we must 

remember what Zen teaches

us, "Finger pointing at the

moon."

​

Everyone has many

experiences which are,

no doubt, impactful for

them.

​

But don't confuse the finger

for the answer, look to where

the finger is pointing.

​

Always it will lead you to the

ineffable, the unspeakable,

the never born and never

created.

 

What I love to share is

what people in Twelve Step

programs refer to as "my

experience, strength and

hope."

 

Each day is a new beginning

for me.

 

I somehow feel that life wipes

the slate of my mind, the brain

and nervous system clean each

day, and I experience a Cosmic

reset for lack of better words.

 

Tabula rasa, a blank slate

upon which the journey of Soul

is my never ending story.

 

So why then did I start

this website?

​

I started it when the pandemic

began. It was a means through

which I could share from the

depths of my heart what was

happening within my experience.

​

This was nothing new.

​

I am a journaler. I have been

doing it every day since the

3rd grade. Although I thought

of it as "writing in my diary"

at the time.

​

But this was important to me

because it was a very

challenging time is the

collective history of humanity.

​

I think that all of us felt the

weight of how things changed

for all of us, literally over

night.

 

So I guess that the simplest of

answers was that this little

website was the next most

peaceful thing that life sat

in front of me and so it came

into being.

​

Once again, I said yes.

 

I do not advertise.

 

I have no mission that it grow.

 

It is what it is and if people

find me, it is by word of mouth

because I have never and will

never do anything to promote

myself.

​

I am a servant and lover of God.

​

Nothing more and nothing less.

 

For those who know me, I have

been writing the TFTD for over

28 years now and have not

missed a single day.

 

Rain or shine, soaring in the high

heavens or drowning in a black

pit of despair, I have kept up with

this discipline.

 

In the beginning, it was to prove

to myself that I was capable

of making such an unwavering

commitment.

​

And for that, I have my earthly

father to thank.

​

Through the school of hard 

knocks, I learned what it means

to get back up and begin

again, to never ever give up

or give in.

 

I had started many things in

this life and never finished

any of them. I wished to prove

to myself that I could learn

to be meticulous, committed

and 100% consistent about it.

 

For me, it has thus been a path

of radical transfiguration.

 

And as I have shared many times

throughout the years, I was in no

way prepared to take on this task.

 

Yet I have born witness through

my own experience that God

does not pick capable people.

 

God picks people who know they

are incapable but still willing to

say yes, and then he makes them

capable.

 

This did not happen with a

gentle flick of Harry Potter's

magic wand.

 

It was a stumbling and fumbling

finding of my way each day.

​

To often fail, but to never fail

to keep trying, and to offer

myself up continuously  as an

instrument into the fire of

the Vast Unknown.

 

Along the way I became

increasingly resilient, and I

learned to trust myself. I

began to truly live my life

from the inside out.

​

For here was the secret to

being a candle which does

not flicker in the wind.

 

I do not claim to have any

answers.

​

But I have discovered a peace

which never changes.

​

I know that I am not alone.

​

I feel the presence of an inner

companion who has demonstrated

a love which has no conditions

or bounds and asks for nothing

in return.

​

This was how I learned what love

actually is. For surely no human

being ever taught me this.

 

With the greatest humility I can

honestly say that I know that I do

not know anything.

 

But I am willing to come here

day after day and share my direct

experience, and hopefully be a

light in a world that can seem

distressingly dark and confusing

more often than not.

 

It is a powerful thing to keep

saying yes, to be willing to be

nakedly vulnerable, day afer day,

to be genuinely human, to share

from the depths of one's heart, 

and to stand shoulder to shoulder

with everyone else on this planet

and be willing to be all of it.

 

The transcendent, the mundane,

the heinous and the humiliating,

the vastly uncertain as well as

the ever hopeful.

 

And through it all, I truly believe

that I have remained the same

genuinely loving and consistent

space which holds all and shuns

nothing.

 

These are not shoes that I was

born with, they are shoes that

I grew into, shoes that it was

my destiny to one day be

equipped to fill perfectly.

 

I do not have superficial

relationships.

 

But if you are looking for a

true blue heart friend, I would

love to hold your hand and

walk with you, side by side,

amid the noise and haste

of human life.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

Come.

 

Take my hand.

 

We have a life of the

good, and the difficult,

the sweet and the savory,

the salty and spicy, and

everything in between

to see about.

 

Are we not all of it?

 

Shall we journey together,

you and I?

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I really like the metaphor

that you used yesterday

of the ocean. It gave me such

a clear sense of my position

in the world, as well as that of

my highest potential as the

Soul.

 

Sharing honestly, I spent quite

a bit of this life flailing about,

feeling agitated and waffling

between states of victim

consciousness and that of

blaming others for my

troubles.

​

Everyone I have ever met believes

falsely that the more spiritual

one becomes, the better their

life experience becomes.

​

They believe that you become

exempt from the difficulties which

other people encounter over

the course of a human life by

choosing to be spiritual.

​

How bloody arrogant!

​

I have been shown time and

time again over the course of

my lifetime that pursuing a spiritual

life does not grant you immuniity

from anything.

​

It simply provides you a means

through which you can experience

those life events which it is your

destiny to experience with trust

rather than fear. You can remain

genuinely peaceful and loving,

with a smile which is born of

happiness and contentment

on your face.

 

Thus, through everything that you

have ever taught me along the way,

you have given me a completely

new perspective on how to navigate

the experience of being human.

​

I can live as you and be in this world

but not of it, or I can suffer the

slings and arrows of life as the ego,

ever suffering and fearful. Not just

some of the time, but all of the time.

 

Soul: The first thing that you have

to know is that no part of your

human experience is impacting

my experience as Soul.

​

This is true for everyone regardless.

​

In other words, whether you are

aware or entirely oblivious to

your highest potential, or simply

somewhere in between, I am

your Infinite Reality.

 

With your complete acceptance

of what is happening, combined

with trust in Me (which is really

trust in your Self), you can float

in that ocean calmly and comfortably

regardless the experience that you

happen to be having.

​

This is life from the inside out.

 

Your total loving acceptance

of what is happening in your

experience gives you access to

your heart.

 

And once you have accessed the

heart, you have access to Me.

 

This hallmarks the end of dread

and the knee jerk tendency to

react rather than to respond

peacefully and lovingly to the

life which is your destiny to live.

 

me: This leads me to a very

important point, one that I

understand quite well and it is

this:

 

Allow life to be great.

 

Allow your life to be great.

 

You know, victim consciousness

is only one side of the coin.

 

The other side of it is the core

wound of unworthiness that

the majority of people on this

planet feel to one degree or

another.

​

We are always searching for more,

better and different.

 

For the longest time, I would allow

my life to reach a certain level of

greatness, and then I would have to

do something to sabotage things.

All the while pretending that I was

completely innocent and being

victimized unfairly by others.

 

This was a huge pattern for me

for over 3 decades of my life.

 

But when I finally got it, that

my worth was not established by

me, my family of origin or

anyone else, that my worth was

established by God, who created

me from Itself, that core wound

of unworthiness began to

dissolve and I began to experience

the love that I am as well as love

for the precious human being

that I am.

 

As the love I felt for myself

grew and grew, I began to

experience such a profound

tenderness and compassion

for myself. It felt as though

my heart was actually on fire

and that it was on the verge

of exploding.

 

It was then that the following

realization became self evident.

 

The one who is loving and

supporting me in such a huge

way is you, beloved soul.

 

I then found that not only could

I float on the water rather than

flail about, I began to experience

ecstatic moments of intoxicating

freedom where I would rise above,

feeling myself walking on the

water's surface.

 

I was in the world but not of it,

and I was impervious to the

endless machinations of life

and the meaning-making-machine

between my ears who was never

satisfied with anything.

​

That persona was ever fearful

and waiting for the other shoe

to drop.

 

And life?

 

Life was a competition which

I devoted myself to winning.

​

How does winning at the game

of life from ego's perspective

equate to life lived as Soul?

​

The walking on water experience

hallmarked the end of the

torturous mood swings I had

formerly experienced.

 

This was freedom.

 

And not only was it freedom, it

was exhilarating freedom. I felt

as though I was pirouetting among

the stars, a freedom beyond which

nothing greater could be conceived

because it was Infinite.

 

Soul: You have shared a lot today.

 

And your human father was right.

Understanding is truly a fine thing.

 

Let us end today's dialogue with

this:

 

Beloveds, it is safe for you to be

happy.

 

You were created to be happy.

 

Do not try to hide your light under

a bushel. This is wasted effort

on your part.

 

You have such an amazingly

beautiful heart. Do not be afraid

to let it lead you.

 

It will never fail you, anymore

than can I.

 

This is your time.

 

Time for you to go all in on being

who you truly are, which is what

you came here to be.

 

You came here to be a portal

that would lead others to 

the dimension of their true

Identity where we reside as One.

 

And you do this by simply being

willing to commit to being you

and consciously allowing yourself

to be the light of the world.

 

It is time for you to give up

the futile effort to hide you light

so that you can fit in with those

who populate your world.

​

In your heart of hearts, you

know that they would take

you down with  them if you

were to let them.

​

That is how threatening light

is to those who cherish the

darkness of ignorance in which

they live out their little lives.

​

For them, the only safety is

in making you just like them.

 

But this is not your journey.

 

Would you make a commitment

to yourself today to have

a stupendously  great life

from here on out?

 

For this is what it means to be

a living demonstration of

one who abides in heaven, yet

resides here on earth.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

I'm all in from here on

out.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Before you even have

the chance to ask me,

let me say that yesterday's

dialogue has made me

realize that the best use of

my time while yet embodied

is that of staying in my own

lane, focusing on my inner

experience of life, and that

of taking 100% responsibility

for my experience in the

humblest of recognitions

that it's all mine to look

at, to feel, and to make

peace with.

 

No one is doing anything

wrong, including myself.

​

And no one has done 

anything to me or to 

anyone else for that

matter.

 

It is just an experience.

 

Can I embrace that?

 

That's my new motto.

 

Soul: We are establishing

a solid foundation upon

which to build an entirely

new relationship with

yourself and your world.

 

It really is so simple.

 

When you get activated,

rather than launch into

a story and projecting

all over the place, just

come back to your breath

and be with yourself.

​

This is about no one and

nothing else. It is about

what this experience 

brought up from within

you, stuff that was already

there but you had never

taken the time to address,

and this is your golden

opportunity to look at

it now and handle it

differently than you

have historically handled

upsets such as this.

​

Can you see an all-too-

familiar pattern here?

 

Maybe you can start with,

"Can I accept that?"

 

First comes acceptance,

then comes the TLC.

 

I think the main way in

which people sabotage

themselves is by setting

the bar to high and

expecting things from

themselves that are not

yet sustainable.

 

It is a great objective to

be a place of peace in

a world that is struggling

to remember peace.

​

Rather than launch into

a diatribe of blatant

self-pity and blame,

can you turn and face

yourself with kindness?

 

me: Remember how my

dad was very fond of saying,

"Acceptance is a very fine

thing?"

 

Well it is.

 

Not just of myself, but of

the people in my life

and the world in general.

 

They are always going to

be the way they are.

 

Am I upset because of the

way they are, or am I upset

because I want them to be

different?

 

I am clearly getting that

I am the only one who

sees a problem here.

 

And the problem is with

my seeing, not with

what is seen or

experienced.

 

But learning to keep it clean

by focusing on my side of the

street helps me love the

little rascal that lives inside

my head.

​

You know who I am talking

about.

​

He or she is defensive, quick to

anger and find fault, judge,

and throw temper tantrums,

cry and feel sorry for them-

selves.

​

But here is the truth:

 

I am the only one who is

accountable and responsible

for my experience.

​

Did anyone put a loaded gun

to my head, demanding that

I react this way or else?

 

Am I focused on my experience,

or am I busy judging or having

a temper tantrum or hissy fit?

​

Am I playing the victim card

once again, or am I looking 

honestly at what I am feeling

and responding ot me?

​

Feeling your feelings does not

mean "tell others all about

how my self-pity and victim

consciousness feels," it means

"silently return to your breath,

stay in your own lane, and feel

the feelings. Don't lash out and

regurutate the familiar story

of  "but this is how I feel!"

​

Make no mistake, this is all a

much too familiar pattern of

acting out.

​

This increases ego rather than

diminishing it.

 

We said it a lot over the weekend

but it bears repeating.

 

When I am able to accept that

my life is my medicine, and I

remember to actually take

my medicine and turn

inward to my experience

rather than projecting it onto

what or whom I am unhappy

with, the more my awareness

of love expands.

​

Decipher this equation:

 

> love, the > freedom.

 

It's simple algebra.

 

Soul: Everything that has ever

happened in this world or ever

will happen has been for one

reason and one reason only.

 

To facilitate the dissolution of

the created self.

​

You will recognize that you are

on the right track if you feel

the ego and its thought system

diminishing.

 

me: It's all about getting in

touch with what our experience

is bringing up in us to look at.

 

So the first step is to see it.

 

The second step is to take

responsibility for it.

 

The third step is to accept it.

 

And the final stept is to

embrace it and offer ourselves

love.

 

Soul: This process is about

establishing trust between

yourself and God.

 

You are all floating in an ocean

of humanity.

 

You do not have to kick

and flail.

​

Nor do you have to scream

for help or cling to others

in a futile attempt to take

them down with you as

you scorch the earth with

your rage and self-pity.

​

Misery may love company,

but it doubles the misery!

 

You are not in danger of

drowning.

 

You do not have to struggle

so in order to survive.

 

You could just remember

that you know full well what

is happening and put your

bathing suit on and swim!

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

I can hear Dory singing

in the back of my head,

like an earworm.

 

"Just keep swimming,

swimming, swimming."

 

I know what I will be up

to today and every day

from now on.

 

Thanks for the reality

check.

 

Amen

​

(cut & paste link to view)

 

https://www.youtube.com/

watch?v=0Hkn-LSh7es

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

Soul: Do you understand

what the whole point of the

weekend exercises was?

 

me: I know that after many

years of dialogues between you

and me that when you specifically

ask me a question such as this

after a few days of practicing,

it is so that I will look at

the evidence that my direct

experience revealed to me

from working with it.

 

You don't want me to make

stuff up.

 

You want me to look inside

and see what my truth, my

experience revealed to me.

 

If the answer is nothing, it

is nothing. The experience

of nothing would thus be

my answer to the question.

​

"I experienced nothingness."

 

You are simply asking me

to share what I discovered.

 

And what I would have

to say is that the more

consistently I worked

with them, and the more

genuinely I turned within

and loved myself, feeling

what there was to be felt,

there were two things

that became self-evident.

 

First of all, the world, my

world, had an awful lot to

show me about myself.

​

Who has time to mind

anyone else's business if

they are sincerely paying

attention to their own?

​

It's a full time job.

 

Lots of feelings, judgments,

opinions, negative commentary

and beliefs that even I knew

were a load of hooey.

 

Secondly, the more I could

lean in, soften, be genuinely

kind and supportive with

myself, offering myself

love with an open hand and

heart, the more it became

clear to me that the one who

was so loving within me

was you, dear soul.

 

As I dove deeper and deeper

into the flurry of reactions,

something began to emerge:

something which was

spacious and still, profoundly

calm and peaceful, something

not of this world but in the

world nonetheless because

it was in me. And am I not in

this world, experiencing a

human life?

 

Yet it was beyond me as well.

 

So I would have to say, after

more reflection, that there

was a third thing which began

to emerge.

 

I am not in the body, body

mind and world are within

me. So this one who saw all

of this and experienced it

directly was the presence

of God revealing Itself.

 

Soul: What a beautiful

response.

 

You are not here to survive

the human experience,

nor to become successful

as the world defines success.

 

You are here to experience

the world. And if you genuinely

set out to experience it with

honesty and integrity, it

will inevitably lead you to

the truth which is always true

within you, it will gently guide

you to that which never

changes.

 

And this required no guru, no

teacher, no book, no technique,

nor a specific religion or road

map to follow.

 

It did not take you years

of meditation, nor a monastic

lifestyle to achieve it.

​

Therefore, it was not an

achievement. It was merely

a revelation of what has always

been the only constant in

the entire Cosmos, yet it dwells

within you and experiences life

as you.

 

You were your own guide and

your life was the teacher who

loved you so much that it showed

you what you needed to experience

in order to know God.

 

Your life is thus the Alchemist.

 

me: And to think, I was the one

who set this all up before I was

born.

 

I would have to say that for not

having to fix or change myself,

I have changed quite a lot over

the course of my lifetime.

 

Oh, I am definitely the same me

that I have always been.

 

I just walk around grinning all

the time at what formerly

elicited huge reactions and

opinions from me, seeing the

raw material that life is so

kindly providing me so I can

stage my own prison break.

 

Life was never my prison.

 

Nor was my family of origin.

 

The prison was that of me,

myself and I, the persona of

the separate self that I created

to survive and remain safe,

to fit in and belong. 

​

At least that was what I

believed. Now I see that it

was a distraction.

​

I was totally preoccupied

with putting lipstick on the pig,

lying to myself that this was

who protected me and kept

me safe.

​

It was utterly exhausting work

to keep that illusion propped

up on a daily basis.

 

And now I understand why

you asked me countless times

throughout the years to,

"Trust myself."

 

You were asking me to trust

that life was providing me

everything I needed in terms

of experiences and that if

I allowed this sense of me

to experience it all, as it is,

she would lead me to you.

 

And that she did.

 

Soul: You learned to relax.

 

And you realized that God

did not need a back seat

driver.

 

And you grew to trust.

 

You found the very freedom

for which your heart has

always yearned, the freedom

that you asked me for when

you were but a child.

 

Has it all been worth it?

 

me: Indeed it has.

 

The world has had to be

the way that it is in order

for me to finally embrace

who I am.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

Thank you for the gift.

​

Why mince words?

 

It's been one helluva

ride.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I would really like to

continue with our keep it

simple theme for the

weekends.

 

It was a great idea, one for

which I am extremely grateful,

because I can feel things

ramping up in the world

again.

 

There is a palpable buzz

that hangs in the air all the

time now.

 

Weekends are for chillaxing.

 

Although this was a more

intentional practice for me

earlier in this decade, it remains

something I practice 24/7/365.

​

It has become as natural to me

as breathing, and why shouldn't 

it?

​

After all, it does anchor me in

my natural state.

 

Points 3 & 4 from yesterday,

were an entry point into

this practice.

 

The practice was a major shift

away from an ingrained pattern

of mean behaviors I directed

toward myself my whole life

that had become unacceptable

to me.

​

Within no time at all, I went

from scratching my head in

perplexity because I did not

know what it meant to love

myself, to the act of actually

feeling myself fall deeply

in love with me, cherishing

my own companionship

above that of anyone or

anything else.

 

This was a turning point for me

that spilled over into every area

of my life.

 

I began to feel deeply calm

and peaceful, most of the

time.

​

It took something that hit me

unexpectedly out of left field

to throw me off kilter.

​

And even then, that did not

stop me.

​

I just inwardly felt myself take

another step back and loved

and supported myself through

the reaction until it dissipated.

​

When you are with an emotion

until it dissipates while loving

and supporting yourself, it

fully integrates.

​

After all, that is all an emotion

really is: Energy in motion.

​

I have found that the waves

settle down quickly if you

attend to yourself lovingly

with great compassion.

​

Things began to shift for me,

and they did so quickly.

 

So much so that even strangers

began to comment about

how they felt when they were

with me.

 

Instead of being such a victim

about everything all the time,

a constant complainer and

a blamer who was addicted

to character assassination,

I started trying to consciously

be with my experience without

struggle or resistance, and to

offer myself kindness and

gentle loving empathetic

support which was genuinely

felt.

​

I spoke to myself and related

to myself in the most tender,

kind and gentle way each time

I felt activated by others or be-

came reactive to what was

happening within my inner 

experience at the time.

 

Although the essential

circumstances of my life have

not changed, my life feels so

different to me these days.

 

And to think, all of this grew

out of a determination to

reverse how I relate to

myself and be wholly 

consistant about it.

​

It is something that you get

better and better at as you

go along because it's a lot

like using a muscle which you 

have not used in a long time.

 

These days this happens so

naturally and with such genuine

tenderness.

​

As a side bar, I find myself

effortlessly offering the people

I encounter the same kindness,

patience and tenderness that

I give to myself.

 

It is something I ask everyone

to give a sincere try and let

the results speak for themselves.

​

I've said this before, the voice

that I used to hear inside my

head used to sound an awful

lot like that of my father.

​

These days the inner voice

sounds more like the voice of

the most loving mother one

could ever imagine.

​

This mother loves her child

so much, so very, very much.

​

She completely adores this

child, and the child feels

unconditionally loved,

supported and cared for.

 

Soul: It is a profound thing to

realize that your life, and every-

thing that it contains, has been

and is a conspiracy that every-

one has been in on from the

moment you took your very

first breath, unbeknownst

to you prior to now.

​

And this will continue to be true

until the moment your take

your final breath and exit the

the movie of your life once

and for all.

 

That's just how big LOVE is.

 

LOVE provides you with the

perfect parents, siblings, friends,

neighbors, co-workers, bosses,

work situations, politicians, and

world events, knowing that they

each will elicit everything you

need to see about yourself,

everything you have yet to love

about yourself that has been

pleading for your genuine

acceptance and loving kindness.

​

Even one whom you ride on an

elevator with is no chance

encounter!

​

Every detail has been lovingly

planned and orchestrated

long before your birth by

none other than you,

beloved.

 

How else does one ever come

to see all that they have denied

because they were afraid to

(1) look, (2) see, (3) embrace

and (4) feel?

 

me: I see what you did therel

 

Sneaky and clever, if I do say

so myself.

​

And I do say.

 

After all, you are my truest self.

 

It's really great, this practice

of relaxing into and supporting

myself in the midst of what my

crowd of usual and unusual

suspects elicits from within me.

 

It has been a real game changer.

​

Soul: This is how you set your-

selves free.

 

And isn't that what life is all

about in the end?

 

Freedom?

​

And who else can free you

other than yourself?

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

I am really starting to under-

stand my role in all of this.

 

Life is the workshop that

I am participating in

every single day,and

my workshop?

 

It happens to be the perfect

medicine for me.

​

For this I have myself to

thank.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: What are we going to

talk about today?

​

Soul: Let's keep it simple,

shall we?

​

me: I know I would be grateful.

This week has been extremely

challenging and the shift in

the overall energy of the planet

was eerily palpable.

​

More anger.

More volatility.

Distracted.

Less patience.

In an ultra bigger hurry, yet

going nowhere fast.

​

Not that this hasn't been the norm

for this decade, but I felt the

presence of each to be stronger

than usual.

​

Plus it was Chinese New Year on

Tuesday the 17th.

​

As we completed the year of the

wood snake, we began the year

of the fire horse.

​

That's all about experiencing

life heating up and speeding

up.

​

So I felt the impact of the change

in intensity.

​

And even though it did not touch

me per se, I didn't enjoy being

out in it so I kept my interactions

to a minimum and as brief as

possible.

​

Everyone I encountered spoke

about something feeling different.

​

I would think that everyone would

enjoy a simpler, kinder and quieter

weekend.

 

Soul: One of the most difficult

ideas for any human being

to grasp is the fact that you

are not here to make peace

with the world, you are here

to get in touch with what is

inside of you and make peace

with that.

​

Virtually all human beings

have spent their entire lives

focused on changing themselves

and their lives, personal evolution

and the endless search for

both meaning and completion.

 

However, self-awareness and

self-love are the only way

to bring peace to the world.

​

It's all about changing how one

relates to themselves in each

moment of life which impacts

the whole of life.

 

You become the medicine

for which the world yearns.

 

Liberation is thus a byproduct

of setting yourself free by

embracing everything about

oneself without critique or

judgment, as well as supporting

oneself in the midst of every

inner experience of life.

 

And you are right. It's the

weekend. We should make

the weekend a bit lighter,

moving forward, since we

keep the pedal to the metal,

so to speak, all week long.

 

How about a leisurely practice

we can engage in without

needing to do anything

differently?

 

Something which requries no

change in plans or level of

activity?

 

Soul: Sure. Try this one on for

size. If practiced with consistency,

you will feel a shift in your

relationship with yourself and

your world.

​

It can be practiced with eyes

open or shut, in the midst

of the busyness of life or

while doing nothing at all.

​

It may be practiced on the move, 

when being still, lying in bed or

engaging in any particular activity.

​

It works well alone or when 

interacting with others.

​

It is simply this...

 

For every single experience

or fluctuation in your inner

world, observe the following:

 

(1) Give it your full attention.

​

(2) Watch your breath.

 

(3) Offer each experience

your total acceptance.

​

(4) Genuinely support 

yourself with love.

 

me: This is great. Thank you.

 

My life is thus always the

medicine.

 

It is my guru, teacher and

friend.

 

The very life which is mine

to live is the G.O.A.T. ...

 

...if I will allow it be that for

me.

​

Thus, receptivity and allowance,

gentleness and unconditional

love, represent the master key

which unlocks every door.

 

Have a great weekend

everyone.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

May I never forget that

nothing beats an open

and loving heart.

​

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I have a suggestion for

our dialogue today.

 

I would like to talk about the

fact that life is the greatest

teacher.

​

No human being could do

what life naturally and

organically accomplishes,

all on her own.

​

Thus, no one needs a human

being for a teacher at all.

​

Just a little willingness to accept

the life that is theirs to live,

a pair of eyes, combined with an

open heart and a spirit which

has been tenderized enough

by life that it is now open to

hearing the Good News:

​

There is an easier way, beloved.

 

It has become so clear to me

that every person or thing with

which I engage is showing me

what I have yet to love and

accept about myself.

​

We are all reacting and responding

to our own personal virtual reality

simulator.

​

Can you tell the difference between

yourself and your avatar?

​

The object is not, "Give 'em hell

and win," it's "What are you

showing me about myself?"

 

It takes courage to lean in, to

soften and open your heart to

the things you have spent your

entire lifetime being afraid of

and therefore, trying to avoid

or run away from.

​

Your heart is your place of refuge;

the home of peace where you

find wisdom, courage and

shelter from every perceived

storm.

​

And when you take refuge

in your own heart of hearts,

you become your own

safety from the storm of life.

 

But as I have shared so often

before, it was never what life

was trying to show us that

upset us.

 

It was always about our resistance

to what life was and is showing us

about ourselves that is the source

of our upsets.

 

Nothing goes away either by

ignoring it or blaming it onto

others.

​

You did not say or do something

wrong.

​

Neither did they.

​

Thus it has always been about

you having the courage to turn

and face yourself, rather than

ignoring the one you have

abandoned for so long.

 

I think about all the wars and

political unrest on our planet,

and I am grateful that I am

seeing what is happening

in my life as evidence of your

presence, beloved soul,

patiently trying to show me

the things I did not want to see

about myself, the things I was

too terrified to look at before.

 

The former M.O. was to avoid

looking and owning at all costs.

​

Now I am learning to love this

avatar and support her, knowing

she is the door which leads to you.

​

She is shaped like me, I am the

only one who fits through it.

​

And I am no longer willing to use

every single life-negating option

I have at my disposal in a futile

effort to avoid turning and facing

myself.

 

It is no longer a game of what

has the best odds of keeping

me safe and ensuring my survival?

​

What I could not see was that

I was the only one who was

endangering myself.

 

And to think, all I have to do,

all I ever had to do was to

remain open and aware.

 

It's a really awesome feeling

to be able to deeply show up

for myself and be completely

present to the things that

unfold in my life on a daily

basis.

 

You know what I mean, all

the things I used to choose

to avoid so I could be selectively

blind.

 

No one was going to make me

look at anything that I did not

want to see!

 

I used to go at life at mach 12

with my hair on fire every single

day!

 

Now I just move in the effulgent

flow and harmony of what is.

 

What an amazingly different

way to experience life!

 

With great love and care the

"I" that is "we" flow with

the river of life, rather than

constantly trying to push it.

 

I feel like I am using the game

rather than the game using me.

 

I used to be scared shitless

of damn near everything.

 

Now I fear nothing.

 

How great is that?

 

I used to believe that life was

not on my side, that I did not

sabotage myself nearly as often

or as much as life actively tried

to shipwreck and sabotage me,

throwing me curve balls repeatedly

and actively presenting me with

a life that sucks more than

everyone else's did to them.

 

I now see that life has always

been lovingly trying to set

me free.

​

"Of what?" you ask.

​

Well of me, of course!

 

It's not like anything in my

life has actually changed.

 

It's my relationship with myself

and my life that has changed.

​

A difference that is always

beyond my wildest imagination!

 

I am no longer at war with

anyone or anything, least

of all myself.

 

Soul: This is no small thing.

 

me: I am so grateful for everyone

going through what they went

through on my behalf, revealing

what they did so that I could be

free.

 

Soul: That is a very liberating

way to look at the experiences

you have had.

 

God takes every form for you

so that you can be free.

 

Is that not amazing?

 

me: Absolutely!

 

It's like God is saying to me,

"I have done all this for you,

Pelkyong, I love you that

much!"

 

It's so funny when you think

about it. There is only one

actor here who is playing

every single part!

 

And that actor is even playing

the part of me!

 

I get so tickled when I try to

grok it.

​

Hilarious. A real grame changer!

​

You know that old saying about

truth being wilder than fiction?

​

Well this virtual reality experience

has been a humdinger!

 

Everyone who is suffering,

everyone who is struggling,

is doing so for me.

 

If that isn't humbling, I don't

know what is.

 

All of this is happening the

way it is happening so that

I can get in touch with where

it is happening within me.

 

Soul: Life can only ever show

you what is present within

you. It cannot show you what

you do not have. This is some-

thing which few ever begin

to comprehend.

 

All the world is playing the

role that they need to play

for your benefit because it

loves you and by showing

you what you were denying,

it is bringing you into total

alignment with your natural

state.

 

Because in the end, it is your

lived experience which sets

the entire world free.

 

me: It is an amazing thing

to see that I cannot fix anything

in the world, but when I

fix it within myself simply by

making peace with myself the

way that I am [rather than seek to

change how I am], I do ultimately

set the world free as well.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

Dearest World:

 

Thank you for suffering

for me.

 

I have used your offering

wisely, to set all who are

in captivity free by my

willingness to turn and

face me..

 

And to think...all it ever took

was the willingness to make

peace with myself.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: You know…sometimes

I can be more than a little

dense.

 

I was noticing yesterday that

I am not grieving as much

as I used to over the loss of

Pam.

 

Of course, I miss her every

single day. But there is no real

sorrow attached to her no

longer being embodied.

 

In fact, the heart feels so joyous

when I think of her. I am so

happy her struggles are over.
 

The body had given out on her

years ago and she lived with

excruciating and constant pain,

even though I never heard her

complain about anything.

​

Who wouldn't long to be freed

from a prison cell?

​

And who wouldn't rejoice to see

one whom they love with all their

heart be completely released

from this struggle?

 

As I reflected on this, I had

a huge epiphany and I realized

that naturally I am no longer

suffering from her loss,

because the truth was not that

Pam and I were best friends,

it was that you had been our

true blue beautiful BFF all along.

 

We have been sharing these daily

dialogues for almost 5 months

now. During this time, our

communion and union with

one another fills my heart to

overflowing with gratitude,

peace and joy.

​

There was never any doubt that

it was your voice which was

speaking through me, but our

relationship has evolved in these

past 5 months into such a rare

state of transparency and intimacy

that so few get to enjoy during

their lifetime.

​

You have become the only thing

in my life that means anything

to me.

​

All the moments of my days are

filled with your presence. I feel

wings gently embracing me

in such unspeakable peace.

​

And I am loved...

​

Cherished even...

​

So much so that each moment

now feels like a little death,

followed by a resurrection.

​

I truly know I rest in God.

 

I met Pam in the summer of 1998

and we began our consciously

shared journey with you in January

of 2000.

​

We were a trinity together, were

we not?

 

There aren't enough ways for me

to express my gratitude for

this gift.

​

There is a verse in the Old Testament

that perfectly describes this dance

we share:

​

"My beloved is mine, and I am his."

Song of Solomon 2:16

 

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the

first day of Lent.

 

People receive ashes on their

forehead signifying mourning

and repentance.

 

With the onset of Lent, Christian

people all over the world begin

the practice of inwardly carrying

their cross as Jesus did.

 

I would sincerely like us to offer

the world another interpretation

of the final 40 days of the life

of the man named, "Jesus."

 

He has been revered and 

worshipped by approximately

two and a half billion well

meaning Christians from all

over the world.

​

The narrative which is repeated

again and again is that he was

the one and only son of God.

 

Soul: I will gladly help you open

the door of this dialogue.

 

me: In many ways we are teaching

the true meaning of the crucifixion

and the resurrection every single

day when we share, heart-to-heart,

the meaning of life.

 

Soul: This is true.

​

Most human beings complain as if

they are being crucified every

single day.

 

The message of both the crucifixion

and the resurrection are deeply

embedded in all of our daily offerings.

​

However, it is a different message

than the one the world teaches.

​

I think this is what people will realize

they have been directly experiencing

all along.

 

Even more so as they reflect with us

today.

 

me: The idea that I want to stress is

not one which is unfamiliar to those

who read these thoughts each day.

 

The self-help industry...

Spirituality...

and Religion in general...

 

...all teach the same message

and that is that who you are is not

who you should be.You need to fix,

heal, change, improve, transcend,

understand or upgrade both who

and how you are because until

you do change, not only will you

remain broken and unhappy,

but you will continue to be

unacceptable to God.

​

"Join us. We will be more than

happy to help you change. All you

have to do is ___________."

​

You get the picture.

​

Just make sure you add a lot of

dollar signs to the list of things

they will have you chasing your

tail while engaging in.

 

Everything the world teaches is

a spurious attempt to brainwash

you into believing that what is

false is true, and what is true is

false.

 

"Everything is ass backwards,"

as my father used to say.

​

For someone who had so entirely

lost his way in this life because

he did not know himself as soul,

he could be very wise when it

suited him to be so.

 

What is Everywhere can have

no opposite because it is every-

where. Therefore, the Everywhere

cannot contain both truth and

untruth or it isn't the Everywhere,

now is it?

 

Thus, 100% of what the world

tries to pound into our heads

every day amounts to instructions

on how to ride a donkey backwards.

 

So with time and diligence, you

master the art of riding the donkey

backwards whilst wondering why

you cannot get the donkey to go

where you want it to go.

​

Donkey seems to have a mind

of its own.

​

What you are doing isn't working.

"Why is this not fixing me and my

life?" you ask.

 

Remember what Einstein said?

 

Insanity is repeating the same

behavior again and again,

expecting a different outcome.

​

So while the whole of Christendom

teaches that Jesus was betrayed,

scorned, abandoned, beaten

and finally killed and that his

death was the price that he paid

for our sins, he knew differently.

 

Every projection is thus a teaching

in the belief(s) which inspired

them in the first place.

 

So while human beings believe

they are not good enough 

precisely as they are, they

project blame for their

unhappiness and misery onto

the world around them and

they feel entirely justified

to do so.

 

There are only 2 voices we can

listen to. The voice of the Soul

or that of the ego.

​

One is real because it is the

only constant in the entire

universe. While the other is

an illusion because it is the

byproduct of a fear-based

thought system.

 

So naturally it was easy for

the world to project blame

and guilt onto either Jesus

or the Sanhedrin, to deify

Jesus and judge the rest of

the world as pathetic and

unworthy schmucks, while

all the while Jesus remained

steadfast in his love for

humanity as he held the

the space of changeless

peace.

 

Whether you were pro-Jesus

or anti-Jesus mattered not.

 

Because if it is the ego's voice

that you are listening to, you

will see guilt and wrong doing

and will inevitably blame it on

others.

 

Why?

 

Because that is how the idea

of separation and duality

is miscreated and reinforced!

 

How else are you going to

sub-divide the world into 

good and bad, right and

wrong, evil and righteous?

 

But if you listen to one voice

and one voice only, the voice

of the soul who is our shared

identity, you know that you

know that you know that...

 

...separation is meaningless.

 

...nothing real can be threatened,

thus, you cannot hurt or be

hurt.

 

...anger is impossible. If you

respond with anger, it cannot

be the soul you are listening

to.

 

...you are perfectly immune

to all forms of attack.

 

...you cannot justify the

unjustifiable.

 

...that even the most outrageous

assault as judged by the ego

is incapable of harming you

in any way.

 

...that one body can indeed

attack another body, but you

are not the body, beloved.

Never have been and never

will be.

 

Thus the message of the

crucifixion was that Jesus

knew he could not be harmed

in any way and nothing

could deter him from being

the living presence of love

no matter what they thought

they were doing to him.

 

He knew us as brothers and

sisters whom he loved. He

knew us as his equals.

 

Each of us are perfect creations

of a most perfect Creator.

 

And therefore the message

of the resurrection was merely

the remembering of the truth

which is always true, the

dawning in both mind and heart

of the truth which has always

lived there, the truth which 

could never leave us, but could

most certainly be denied

and overlooked.

 

Soul: That was a lot to try to share

and do so with as few words

as possible.

 

I think this is enough for one day,

don't you?

 

Reflect on these thoughts as you

go about your day today.

​

Jesus was not special.

​

No one is.

​

But he is a perfect example

of one who lived his brief

life in complete union with God.

​

Each of you are here to model

the same thing in your humanity

as well.

 

You are beautiful and holy

and perfect as you are.

 

You do not need to change

a thing.

 

You were created by love

for love to live your lives

as love incarnate.

 

You need do nothing other

than be yourself, be happy

and be at peace, which is

your natural state.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​​

LOVE liveth me, for I would

hear but one voice, the

voice which speaks for God.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Guess what?

 

Soul: You know I don't have

to guess. I already know

everything... But go ahead

and share what's on your heart.

 

me: You know, our mutual

friend?

 

She texted me the following

this morning:

 

"Thank you, Pelkyong!

I HEAR you!"

 

I am really convinced that

if people could only see what

they are doing to themselves,

they would no longer do most

of the things that they do.

 

Soul: There is nothing wrong

with any of you.

 

You just need to love and accept

who you are and how you are,

especially the parts that you

do not like about yourself.

 

I think a very good assignment

for today would be to ask all

of you to challenge yourselves

by trying the following:

 

For the next 24 hours, can you

express nothing but genuine

compassion and kindness

toward yourselves?

 

Can you turn and face the human

being that you are with love?

 

The message of the spiritual

marketplace is that there are

things about you that stand

in the way of you experiencing

love, or God, directly.

 

Do this. Attend that.

 

You shouldn't be this way.

 

Here is a workshop that is designed

specifically for people like you.

 

And the only way out of this

dilemma?

 

Turn and face the human being

that you are with love.

 

There is nothing about your humanity

that has any impact on me, beloved.

 

And not only does your humanity

have no impact on me, there is nothing

wrong with any of it.

 

If I do not see anything about you as

a problem, why do still have a problem

with so many characteristics of yourself?

​

Why are you so quick to judge

and then reject your own precious

self?

​

Why do you find these parts of you

unacceptable?

​

You know, you cannot reject any

part of yourself and still hope

to walk through that door of truth

we call love, or God.

​

Because if you reject or struggle

with any part of you, you still

have a problem with all of you.

​

You cannot be broken up into

parts you approve of and parts

with which you disapprove

without throwing the baby out

with the bathwater.

 

After all, I created you. I know you

better than you know yourself.

 

Please do not allow yourself to

become trapped in yet another

false construct that brings with

it the experience of hell.

​

Do not follow the advice of one

who is just as lost to themselves

as are you.

 

I am not trying to tell you that

this is wrong, I am saying that

it is self-sabotage. It is spiritual

bypassing, when you could be

enjoying exhilarating freedom

and happiness this very instant.

 

I promise you, that door to me

springs open the very instant that

you love and accept all of

yourself as you are, beloved.

 

Each of you are perfect.

 

You always have been.

 

And no matter how hard you try,

you will never be able to resolve

someone else's distorted lens

of perception.

 

They are revealing how they do not

love themselves and then projecting

their own incompletions onto you.

 

Dear sweet child, hear me and

hear me well.

 

You live in a world where so many

are drowning.

​

I watch this observation break

your heart again and again,

day after day as the Celestial

Speedup gains traction.

 

And the reason you suffer is not

for the reason that you think

​

You do not suffer because so

many are drowning at this time

in human history.

 

You suffer because you are

expecting them to swim!

 

Everyone is on their own perfect

journey. Have a little faith that

those who are drowning are still

on the soul's journey.

​

If it is happening, it is because

it is supposed to be happening.

​

Suffering tenderizes.

​

It forces people to see that what

has been tried does not work, the

familiar does not alleviate suffering,

and they become open and ready

for the truth which is always true.

 

Please just be you and stay in your

own lane, on your own side of the

street.

 

They will figure it all out when

they are supposed to figure it out,

just as you are figuring it all out

now.

 

Are you not more peaceful,

more stable, more calm and loving

than you have ever been?

 

And remember your message

is never one that requires words.

 

The presence which is living you

is the message!

​

That message is communicated in 

every single instant as you simply

and lovingly live the life which is

yours to live, embracing all of

yourself as you are doing so.

​

Just make sure to ask yourself

frequently, especially when you

notice that peace is no longer

in your awareness, "Am I swimming,

or have bitten the hook again?"

​

"Am I buying into the scare tactics

and narrative that the collective

promotes?"

 

"A message which is telling me that

I am drowning, along with everyone

else?"

 

me: I feel personally empowered.

 

I think this has been a beautiful

way to conclude the dialogue that

we began yesterday.

 

We are beautiful.

 

We are absolutely perfect and

utterly adorable exactly as we are.

 

We are pure love, through and 

through.

 

There is no way we could possibly

become any more loving than we

already are because we are always

Infinite!

 

How could we be anything else?

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Created from Infinite Intelligence

Itself, I am still as God created me.

 

This is the truth which is always

true, the one constant that

cannot change.

 

Ever.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Repeat after me,

everyone:

 

LOVE lives here!

 

PEACE lives here!

 

JOY lives here!

 

LIGHT lives here!

 

PRESENCE lives here!

 

It's always good to begin the

day on the right foot.

 

Why waste a perfectly good

opportunity to begin a heart

opening dialogue by broad-

casting what is forever true

on all stations!

 

You think everybody got

the message?

 

Soul: Loud and clear!

Your enthusiasm is a little

hard to miss!

 

me: And all it takes to

begin this journey without

distance is to genuinely

accept and embrace the

human being that we are,

not the human we wish

we were.

 

I have a friend who is very,

very dear to me. She is always

forgiving herself for her

humanity, for being a flawed

(in her mind) human being.

​

In spite of the fact that however

she is, she is perfect.

​

She is the perfect creation of a

perfect Creator, who ultimately

is none other than she!

​

Therefore it is her own standards

that she is failing to live up to.

​

And she believes that how she is,

is an obstacle between herself

and God!

 

Further, she feels that forgiving

herself is a step up from beating

up on herself all the time and

feeling guilty for what she either

thinks, feels, says or does that

both she and God judge as

wrong and therefore, wanting.

 

But I tell her, "This is not

acceptance and it is certainly

not love."

 

To this very day, she still has

never gotten around to loving

herself as she is.

​

Oh, she believes that she has,

but she has not.

 

I do not know why this is such

a difficult task for people to get.

 

I am around people every single

day who can say to me in no

uncertain terms that they are on 

the soul's perfect journey, that

they do not need to change a

thing about themselves, and in

the very next breath, they will tell

me about someone they are

upset with, or something they

are upset about, and then they

beat themselves up without

mercy for doing so.

 

They will follow that behavior up

by telling me that they have

forgiven themselves for the very

thing for which they just confessed.

 

Beloved, if you feel the need

to forgive yourself for anything,

then you most certainly have

not accepted the human being

that you are.

​

Can you not see that?

​

Open your eyes and look at

what you just did!

 

Because the human being that

you are happens to do the very

things for which you just confessed

and then forgave yourself.

​

And that human being is going

to be that human being until

you die. What about her?

 

See how tricky the spiritual ego is?

 

Soul: Absolutely!

 

There is nothing wrong with

forgiving yourself.

 

But there is also nothing right

about forgiving yourself either.

 

Each are equally unnecessary.

​

And you must learn to recognize

such activities as blantent acts

of self-sabotage.

 

Love Thyself.

 

That is the one message that we

quite consistently share in one

way or another every single time

that we engage in these dialogues.

 

Everything begins and ends with

loving and accepting yourself

as you are.

 

me: I understand why she

does this. I have skirted around

it already but let's all take a

look at the spiritual ego's M.O.

 

She does not meet her own

criteria for Infinite.

 

She does not meet her own

criteria for Perfect.

 

She does not meet her own

criteria for God.

 

And she does not meet her own

criteria for Oneness.

​

In other words, she is not how

she believes that she should be.

​

There is that awful word again,

should.

​

I know that no word has any meaning

other than the one that we give it,

but the meaning that she gives that

word is very demeaning and self-

abnegating.

​

And then she is following that up

by forgiving herself for how much

she believes that she is missing

that mark.

​

I don't care how much you twist

the meaning of the word forgiveness

in order to see it as forgiving yourself

for seeing error where there is none

and therefore, the restoration of 

innocence.

​

It is still a far cry from being willing

to truly and deeply love all of yourself

as you are.

 

She will follow that up with a question.

​

If I am already and always beautiful

and holy and perfect in God's sight,

pelkyong, then why am I still angry?

​

Why do I get frustrated?

​

Why do I judge others and myself?

 

I then follow that up with "That's her.

Look! There she is. That's the human

being that you have to love and accept

and respect as the perfect creation

of a most loving God. She is Infinite

and beautiful as she is. She is the living

presence of God in human form who is

One with everything."

 

"When you look up the word Oneness 

in the dictionary, it shows your picture

there."

 

And then I hear you, Beloved Soul,

whispering to her from the depths of my

heart, "But I made you from myself.

I accept all of you. Now will you please

finally accept and love yourself?"

 

Please listen to me.

 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE ANYONE

OTHER THAN THE HUMAN BEING

THAT YOU ARE AND THAT MEANS

ALL OF YOU.

 

You haven't begun to hear this

message until you take that fully in

because the ramifications are as

Infinite as are you, precious friend.

 

And until you hear this message

and take it fully in, you are spiritual

bypassing.

 

Every time you think you need to

forgive yourself for anything, you are

slamming the door to God.

​

If that isn't a f _ _ k the hell off, I don't

know what is.

 

Your loving acceptance of your humanity

is the way, sweetheart.

​

Please get that.

​

Please, please get that.

 

You cannot be who you came here to be

by invalidating any part of your humanity.

 

The day that I hear you say to me that

you do not need to be anything other

than the human being that you are, you

do not need to be anyway else, I will

know that you have finally heard me.

 

Soul: You are speaking to everyone,

because everyone does this.

​

Let's be clear about that.

 

And the most beautiful thing of all is

that when you begin to truly love

and accept your anger, and whatever

other parts of yourself you are not

happy about, they begin to fizzle out

on their own and you no longer feel

the same urge to act it out on the

world around you, or take it out on

yourself.

​

me: Or seek forgiveness.

 

Soul: This is what it means to be a

miracle worker.

 

The guiltless mind cannot suffer.

 

Never forget that.

 

Anything you cannot accept and

embrace...

 

Anything you feel you need to

forgive...

 

...is a prison cell of your own making.

 

If you want to truly be a place of peace,

then you have no choice but to accept

yourself and love yourself as you are.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Today I accept the human

being that I am with

all my heart.

 

I have no choice in the

matter because I want

to be peaceful.

 

I want to be who I came

here to be.

 

Hear this universe?

 

Self invalidation and

self-negation ends

here!

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​​​​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: Over the weekend, I

really gave a lot of thought

to the question, why do we

sabotage ourselves?

 

Why are human beings

innate saboteurs of their

own happiness?

 

Although there are probably

as many ways to sabotage

yourself as there are people

in the world, I think that in

the end, we all do it for the

very same reasons.

 

We want to fit in.

 

We want to belong.

 

We want others to approve

of us.

 

And we ache inside to be

loved and accepted for who

and how we are by the people

who matter to us.

 

And so what do we do?

 

We diminish our light in an

effort to fit in with our particular

world because we want to

belong.

 

Thus, all sabotage represents

our chosen means of diminishing

our light.

 

There are three things I have

discovered about self-sabotage

as I have continued to explore

the subject.

 

(1)

 

No one outside of ourselves

is capable of either loving

or accepting us.

 

It is not their job.

 

It's ours.

 

And when we genuinely

learn to love, accept and

support all of ourselves,

as we are, we find that

we no longer feel we

need it from others.

​

And depending on another

person to love you?

​

That is most certainly the

means to set yourself up

for heart ache and heart

break.

 

This is about realizing that

the only one who can

complete you is you.

 

But for most people, the

most difficult of all hurdles

to cross is that of feeling

we need other people to like

and approve of us.

 

Perhaps no one will ever

appreciate or value you as

much as you would like

for them to, but the question

is, do you appreciate and

value yourself?

 

You are always enough for

God, can you be enough

for you?

 

(2)

 

When we try to diminish

our light in order to fit in or

to gain the approval of others,

it doesn't really diminish

our light at all.

 

Our light is indivisible.

 

All of it is expressing itself

all of the time.

​

The totality of all light shines

forth from you, not just

some of the time, but all

of the time!

 

Our light is still doing what

light does. It is impacting

others to the same degree

it would have had we not

tried to diminish it in the

first place.

 

All we manage to accomplish

when we seek to diminish

our light, to hide it under a

bushel, is to withhold

the light from ourselves!

​

The only one who is unaware

of it is you, my dear...

 

(3)

 

Many years ago I was told

that for the rest of my life,

I would comfort the disturbed,

and disturb the comfortable.

 

To which I replied, "that is

certainly not new."

 

"I have been doing that all of

my life."

 

My presence has always had

an uncanny knack of pissing

people off and I do not even

have to open my mouth in

order for it to do so.

 

For the past 6 years I have

become increasingly aware

of the fact that the more I

love myself and let my light

shine, the greater the effect

my light has on the world

around me.

 

The emptier the inbox, the

more transparent the mirror,

the greater the tendency my

light has of bringing up

other people's incompletions

for them to see.

 

This will begin to happen

for you too, beloved, if it

hasn't already begun.

​

Be a proud lighthouse,

as you cast your light for

all the world to see.

 

It is why I am here

and it is why you are here

as well.

 

We are here to embody

this presence, this light,

this love, and to do so

fully without the

obscurations that arise

as a result of trying to

diminish your presence

in this world.

 

And I feel that ultimately,

the reason why we do all

of these things is because

we are terrified, deep down

inside, to be who we really

are in this world.

 

Who has the courage to

stand nakedly and

unabashedly as all that

they are, to be in their

own highest light, without

fear of being judged,

rejected or found wanting?

 

You see, this is how

the personal self arose

in the first place.

 

The people that mattered the most

to us made us feel unsafe when

we were simply being ourselves

without defenses, which threatened

our sense of safety and security,

and above all, it was experienced

as a huge threat to our survival.

 

That is when we started

trying to become what we

thought others wanted or

expected from us, because

we wanted so desperately

to fit in and belong.

 

It was who we thought

that we had to become

in order to feel safe.

 

Soul: It is never okay for

any of you to give your

power away so thoroughly

that you allow other people's

opinions, demands and 

expectations to affect your

peace and happiness.

 

While embodied, you remain

the only expert on what it

means to be you.

 

No one has that power unless

you give it to them.

 

You were created to be a

self-sovereign being

who is proactive and not

reactive.

 

And though the script has

already been written, you

remain the director, producer,

and you play the lead in

the movie you refer to as

your life.

​

You are in charge of the lighting,

the sets, and ultimately, you

are the one who holds the

camera itself.

 

So play big and swing for

the fences!

​

I believe in you.

 

You've got this!

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

This little light of mine.

 

I'm gonna let it shine.

 

Let it shine,

let it shine,

all the time.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​​​​

The uncommon dialogue

continues...

 

me: I woke up thinking about

Pam today.

 

Folks are used to me sharing

about my best friend of almost

30 years.

 

We never missed a single day

when we did not either speak with

one another or see each other

in person.

 

We finished each others sentences,

read each other's minds, and she

dotted all of my "i's" and crossed all

my "T's."

 

I miss her so much...

 

There aren't enough words in

the universe that could begin

to express all that she meant to me

and still does.

 

I miss her so much and think of

her at least a hundred times

a day, even though it has been

almost 2 years since she passed

away.

 

Don't get me wrong. I am so

bloody grateful she is no longer

here suffering in a body over

which she had absolutely no

control. She required total care

the last 5-6 years of her life.

 

I don't want to paint a picture

that is not accurate, for there is

one area of life on which we

disagreed at least daily and

sometimes several times a day!

 

She would pump me for information

about other people's lives. She would

interrogate me for details about other

people's personal stuff to which I

would give the same answer.

 

"I don't know. How the hell would

I know?"

 

It did not occur to me to meddle in

other people's lives or to ask things

which were of a deeply personl

nature and therefore, none of

my business. If they want me to

know something, I figure that they

would tell me.

 

we would then leave it at that.

 

I knew what she would be asking

me just as she knew what I would

say. Yet this was a game we played

every day in spite of the fact that

it was always the same.

​

Never boring to her, she made sure

that we played it at least once a day!

 

She never tired of it in spite of the

fact that my answer never changed,

and it was never going to change.

 

But this morning I actually hit

my pause button to inquire within

about why I do not pry into other

people's business.

 

And it all stems from a fight I had

with my biological father when

I was thirteen years old.

 

He had me plastered up against the

wall with a forearm pinning me

down while his face was less than

six inches from mine.

 

With eyes bulging and spit hitting

me in the face he screamed at

the top of his lungs, "What the hell

do you want? What - do - you - want?"

 

Without missing a beat I said, "I

want to be free, daddy."

 

To which he replied, "What the

f _ _ k does that mean?"

​

Again with no pause on my part

I said, "I don't know daddy. I only

know that you are not free and

I am not free either. In fact, I do

not think I know anybody who is

free."

 

You see, from the very first thought

I could formulate I knew I was

in bondage.

​

I hated the roller coaster ride 

that my emotions took me on 

day after day.

​

And I loathed the fact that

I could not find genuine peace

and remain there.

 

I thought that surely this could

not be what life is all about.

​

I was in slavery to my own

inner world, as was everyone else

I knew.

​

And nowhere could I find an

example of a person who was

genuinely happy and secure

in that happiness.

​

Perhaps snippets of happiness or

peace here and there, but most

certainly nothing which was lasting.

​

What about the peace which passes

all understanding that they talked

about on Sunday mornings at church?

​

Seems like no one knew a damn thing

about that peace.

​

And yet, it was supposed to be

a promise.

 

Wasn't there a way you could

live like a candle that does not

flicker in the wind despite the

vicissitudes of life?

 

That has thus been my life's

ambition and pursuit.

 

To discover what freedom means,

to live free and help others find

the same for themselves.

​

Not my peace, but their very

own.

 

So as we wrote the TFTD yesterday,

I knew where I wanted to go

with today's message and it was

identified in the following state-

ment:

 

And it is ever so clear to me

that we are the authors of

our own misery and

disappointment.

 

It has also been clear to me

all of my life that the thing which

I cherish above all else is

FREEDOM.

 

Although I did not feel free for

much of this life, and did not

have a clue what true freedom

actually was and is, it was an

idea which meant far more to

me than anything else ever

could, so why would I not offer

it to everyone I come into

contact with, no exceptions?

 

Why would I not extend to my

world the very freedom I cherished

and wished for so fervently for

myself, and do so with no

exceptions, ever?

 

If I loathed the bondage I felt

in this life, why would I seek to

pry into someone else's

business or seek to hold them

hostage?

 

If self-sovereignty, autonomy

and agency is what I have

looked for, why would I not

offer the self-same thing to

everyone I meet?

 

So I have always held a very strong

sense of what my side of the

street means and what it contains.

 

It's my hula hoop I will be in

to my very last breath.

 

I do not make myself wrong

anymore for being different.

 

Like Popeye says, "I yam what

I yam and that's all that I yam."

 

But I am going to give you

freely everything I wish for

myself.

​

And I will do this every single

day.

 

Space...

 

Freedom...

 

The right to live your life as you

see fit...

 

I am going to trust that you are

on the soul's journey just as much

as am I....

 

And I am going to operate from

an inner perspective which says

that your journey is not my business

unless you care to share it with me.

 

And it is my open hand and a heart

as wide as the world that is the only

thing I have to offer you, or anyone

else for that matter, and that is

the only thing I have to bring

to the banquet table of life...

 

Soul: It must be clear to you as

well that you cannot give something

to anyone that you do not already

possess.

 

So the gift of freedom which you

so freely offer comes from me,

the part of you that knows that

you are free and always have been.

 

This part knows that all beings are

inherently free. They were created

in freedom and in freedom they

remain.

 

Bondage is an inside job just as

the awareness of freedom is.

 

This is a beautiful place for us to

end for today.

 

Shall we continue with this

exploration of truth tomorrow?

 

me: You bet! I love our dialogues.

They keep me tethered to sanity

in a world that feels increasingly

insane by the day.

​

As for me, I choose the eye of the

storm over anything this world

has to offer.

​

And that's the truth which sets

us all free!

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

May all beings be happy

and may they rejoice

in the freedom which

is inherently and eternally

theirs.

 

Amen

​​

***

Thought for the Day​​​​​​

​​​​

me: It felt good to just take

a day off yesterday.

​

I rarely get the opportunity

to totally unplug from

my life and the character

I am playing this go-around.

​

Other than a couple of 

necessary appointments,

I did nothing else but

watch my breath and

spend the day in nature.

​

Fresh air, solitude, and

the joy of simply being

that is uncluttered by

words and interactions.

​

It felt as though nature

was putting on this

entire display just for

me.

​

I felt loved, supported 

and that my presence

was integral to it all as

it unfolded.

​

It was exactly what this

mind, these emotions

and this body were crying

out for so thank you for

making that possible.

​

Soul: We are a team,

yet inseparably one.

Like the Trinity in

Christianity composed

of Father, Son and Holy

Spirit, or the Trinity in

Hinduism of Brahma,

Vishnu and Krishna.

​

We are inseparably one,

yet distinct in our

individuality.

​

One has to experience this

union and communion

directly to begin to under-

stand what we are and 

even then, we retain

our Mystery.

​

me: I would like us to talk

about an interaction that

I had with a friend yesterday.

​

It was not unlike most of

our conversations,.

​

However, I could see that

it is a huge way in which

she sabotages herself 

every single day.

​

And that is no exaggeration.

​

She does it so consistently

that she has incorporated

this characteristic into

who she thinks she is.

​

I do not think she consciously

thinks of herself as the

doer, but she does deeply

believe that she is God's

personal helper or executive

assistant.

​

I am sure her friends and 

family think of it as meddling,

but she believes what she

is doing is not only valuable,

it is necessary.

​

She believes that it is an

essential part of her 

job description.

​

Every time we talk, she

always begins with how either

her spouse or her sons are not

doing what they should be

doing and she then follows

that up with asking for an

opinion from me on how I

think she should handle the

situation.

​

This conversation often

extends outward to include

friends, clients, co-workers,

sponsors and sponsees.

​

She always wants to do the right

thing, she is very sincere.

​

She is perhaps one of the

most sincere human beings

that I know.

​

Earnest should be her middle

name. I say that because

her sincerity and earnestness

is both a curse and a blessing.

 

She wants them to do the right

thing, and so naturally she 

believes that it is her duty 

and responsibility to get them 

to change, to see things her 

way and do right.

​

I do not believe for a single 

second that she sees the huge

arrogance in her thought 

processes.

​

But this is her life.

​

And it is ever so clear to me

that we are the authors of

our own misery and

disappointment.

​

I guess that one of the

main things that makes 

my life and her life so 

different is that I do not 

feel like a person and she 

obviously believes that

she is the role that she

is playing hook-line-and-

sinker.

​

I do not have this sense of

a personal "I" who lives inside

this head or thereabouts and is

the doer of this body/mind

complex.

​

I do not think of myself

as a male, a female, a

human being, the one

in control, the navigator

of this ship, the believer

of these thoughts, the

owner of this sensation,

nor the author of any

interaction or experience.

​

I cannot imagine how

incredibly nightmarish

it would feel to me to

actually believe all of 

this and to spend the

entirety of this life 

trying to adhere to its 

dictates, wishes and

whims.

​

So right off the bat, I want 

to thank you for formatting 

this particular hard drive in 

the way that you did.

​

Not that the character I am

playing didn't think that

she experienced more

than her fair share of problems 

along the way, but she

didn't confuse the vehicle

for who she is anymore than

she thinks the Toyota Camry

in the carport out back is

who she is.

​

It's my transportation.

​

It is just a vehicle. I love it

and try to take good care of

it and I thank it for providing

me a way to have experiences

in this life, but it is just a 

vehicle.

​

It has only been in the

last six years that I have

explored this piece of

humanity that I am 

wearing in this lifetime,

loving her and honoring

her life situations and

experiences and offering

her my complete and

unconditional support.

​

So I would have to say

that we three have become

somewhat of a Trinity

ourselves; you, this one

who watches all of the time,

and this human vehicle.

​

It feels odd how I can step

into the role of each

separately or experience

all simultaneously.

​

It is a partnership born

of love, happiness and

above all, freedom.

​

Soul: Let me begin by

sharing that you have 

been and are extremely

fortunate to experience

your humanity as you do.

​

Your friend, who happens

to be my friend too, is

like over 99% of the people

who inhabit this planet.

​

She represents what you would

refer to as the norm far more 

than you ever have or will.

​

A structure is only going to be

as good as its foundation.

​

You cannot build a new 

structure on an old, rotten

and decaying foundation.

​

So we will start there.

​

We will discuss one element

of your foundation each

day for the coming days

and we will ask everyone

who reads this to look

for how it works in their 

experiences throughout 

the day.

​

See if you can internally

take a step back and

simply observe your life 

as it unfolds.

​

Here is today's:

​

The soul does not need a helper.

So please keep your hands

off what is happening in

your particular life 

experience or that of

someone else's.

​

Remember, you are here to

have experiences.

​

You are not here to help

anyone.

​

You cannot even help 

yourselves!

​

You still operate under

the misguided belief that

your contribution is some-

thing I or the others who

compose your world value.

​

We do not.

​

It is entirely superfluous.

​

We discussed this a few 

days ago but let me to

repeat it for you today.

When you interfere, it is

never for the benefit of

the one the created self 

believes it is helping.

​

It is for one's own sake you 

do this, and you do it so that 

you will feel better.

​

What are you so afraid of?

 

Not only is the created self

arrogant enough to believe 

that it knows how things 

should be, it does not see

its own distress and the

fact that it is instigating

these behaviors, demands

and expectations because

it is trying to mitigate or

assuage its own guilt and

fear, and to relieve or pacify

its own discomfort.

​

Life lives itself in its entirety

without your help.

​

You might want to memorize

that statement and repeat it

quietly to yourself each time

you think you know how life

should be and are tempted

to interfere.

​

And your ideas about how 

things should be?

​

Balderdash.

​

Bunkum.

​

Poppycock.

​

Nothing is the hardest thing

to do.

​

Just try it for one day.

​

Can you do nothing other

than observe?

​

We will chat again tomorrow.

​​​​​​​​

***

​

Prayer for the Day

​

Gee, I am so thankful

to be me.

​

Help me keep the pie

hole shut and my grubby

mits off the human scene

in humble recognition 

that how it is, is how it is 

supposed to be.

​

And then help me fall back

and trust.

​

An Intelligence far greater

than mine does not need

my help with anything.

​

Amen

​​

***